Language
  • English
  • French
  • German
  • Italian
  • Portuguese
  • Spanish
  • Swedish

Insurance Funding Request

Did you know Firefly products may be funded by your insurance?

Request Information
Back to Firefly Blog

Winds of change

Winds of change

For a few weeks now, I’ve been having really bad anxiety. Struggling to breath, irrational thoughts and being constantly highly strung. My son was about to start high school and I was petrified.

We found out just before school finished for summer that Cameron had passed his SATs, and not just scraped through he had strong results.

I literally cried – you see we were told not to worry about the SATs and his performance in them, that he would try his best and will have the opportunity to work on the results once he goes to high school.

I felt that they expected him to fail, but he was changing.

We went to town celebrating the success and really made a big deal. I told him that this was an amazing opportunity and strong start to his high school life.

I set that expectation and understanding that by trying his best and getting remarkable results – we would reward him accordingly.

Yeah ok – we basically just told our kid were going to bribe him through high school but he was changing.

So; a mainstream high school setting it is and after literally two years of researching schools, having visits, checking Ofsted reports and bus routes it was all building up to this moment.

I was worried about him doing his school tie and the getting use to the feel of shirts, I was worried about him losing his bus pass that was literally a NIGHTMARE to obtain, I was worried about him getting the school bus, I was worried about him making his way around school, then I was worried about him and his fussy eating habits at lunch.

He was changing though.

He learnt to tie his tie within a couple of hours and we made a game of random “tie checks” where he would drop everything and tie his tie. Mastered it. He said the shirts felt nice but just the top button was a bit tricky, “don’t worry mum, I'm sure it will be fine”.

I would ask him “what would you do if the bus was late” and “what would you do if you missed the bus home”, bombarding him with, in my mine nightmare scenarios. He just looked at me and said, “just ring you or dad or nana” and I forget that the autism literally just provides him with black and white answers.

No overthinking, no what ifs – just matter of fact problem solving answers.

When he started school he was texting me telling me he was on the bus and he will see me soon, then at home time he was texting again to tell me he was on his way back.

He started showering every day upon his return and getting his bag ready for the following day before tea.

When I asked about what homework he had to do (although yes, I already knew with all these fancy pants apps school provide nowadays) he told me that he had been to the library at lunch and started/completed it so that he had more spare time in the evening.

He even had two lots of fish and chips on “chippy Friday”. He had changed.

I suddenly realised that in these last three weeks without realising it my breathing has returned to normal.

The anxious thoughts are few and far between. I’m not constantly checking “find my iPhone” in the morning or at home time because he has adapted so so quickly and amazingly as he has done so many times before over the years.

I feel guilty for not giving him anywhere near as much credit as he deserves and know that in fact we are doing a sterling job, he is a 100% rule follower and a respectful kid.

I know this because when he’s asking me “mum when might I be able to start to say a swear word, everyone swears on the school bus” and I have a conversation with him about how swearing isn’t nice and its most likely those kid’s parents don’t know they are acting in that way – but that if he wants to say the swear word for poo then me and dad don’t mind and he chuckles.

I know he won’t abuse this and absolutely follow the “but not in front of any teachers or grandma” rule attached to it.

He’s changed and now I need to change for us to get through the next stage.

Firefly Blog

Real life stories, issues and experiences of day to day life by special needs parents and
healthcare professionals.

Zowie Kaye

Meet Our Blogger

My Big Fat Greek Family – we love our food and love each other even more. We're a like liquorice allsorts, all a bit different. I’m a full time working mum and married my best friend Jay. I thought my life was great until I became a mum and then realised it was complete. A few of our family allsorts may seem broken – they are not, they are just a bit different!

View Zowie’s Profile

Become a Firefly Blogger

Would you like to write for Firefly? Join our blogger network of parents, therapists and professionals.

Get In Touch

Become a subscriber today

Join over 40,000 subscribers to our weekly newsletter with insightful articles just when you need them.

Join Mailing List

By using our site you agree to our use of cookies. Click here for more info.

Accept & Close

No Interest if paid in full in 6 months on

Purchases on $99+

US Customers only. Subject to credit approval. See terms below

Paypal Credit

Pay now or pay over time with PayPal Credit. Just use PayPal Credit in PayPal checkout.

Subject to credit approval.

Purchases of $99+:

No Interest if paid in full in 6 months on purchases of $99 or more.

  • A minimum monthly payment is required and may or may not pay off the promotional purchase by the end of the 6 month period.
  • No interest will be charged on the purchase if you pay it off in full within 6 months. If you do not, interest will be charged on the purchase from the purchase date at the Purchase APR applicable to your account.
  • For New Accounts: Variable Purchase APR is 25.49%. The APR is accurate as of 6/1/2018 and will vary with the market based on the Prime Rate (as defined in your credit card agreement). Minimum interest charge is $2.00.
  • Individual items that are less than $99 qualify for special financing when combined for a total of $99 or more in a single transaction.
  • Multiple separate transactions of less than $99 per transaction cannot be combined to meet the minimum purchase amount.

Purchases of $98.99 or less:

Buy now and pay over time with PayPal Credit when you spend $98.99 or less.

  • If you pay your balance in full each month by the payment due date that is on your statement, you can avoid paying interest.
  • Or, make minimum monthly payments, or any additional amount of your choosing, until you've paid off your balance according to your standard account terms. Please note, interest charges may apply.
  • We'll send you email reminders when your payments are due. You can also keep track of your account and view your statements online at any time.

About PayPal Credit

  • PayPal Credit is a reusable credit line available on purchases at thousands of stores that accept PayPal. It's also available for purchases on eBay and exclusively at thousands of other online stores. Plus, it comes with the same security and flexibility you trust from PayPal.
  • If approved, we start you off with a minimum credit line of at least $250. See FAQs for more info.
  • For New Accounts: Variable Purchase APR is 25.49%. The APR is accurate as of 6/1/2018 and will vary with the market based on the Prime Rate (as defined in your credit card agreement). Minimum interest charge is $2.00. See Terms and Conditions tab for more info.
  • If you miss a payment your late fee could be up to $38, even less if it's your first time. See FAQs for more info.

Please wait...