Additional Needs

Raising Kids With Special Needs: The Things Autism Makes Parents Do

Posted by Zowie Kaye on 8th February 2016 Additional Needs, Disabilities

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**Sigh** The relief.

My anxiety levels are reducing and my breathing returning to normal.

I have just won an eBay listing of a lot of 24 Micro Machines and I’m moving onto the next which has four minutes remaining.

You see my granny bought Cameron a Micro Machines set from a charity shop; vehicles of any kind are his THING!!

You should have seen the joy on his face playing in his bedroom, which mimics a Toys R Us catalogue, with this £2 treasure with a handful of Micro Machine cars.

Then he asks, “Mum can I have some more Micro Machines for Christmas? 4 is not enough..”

And, as always, my response, “Of course you can baby, if you be a good boy!”

How hard can it be getting your hands on some Micro Machines…? Very, it would seem!

They are now classed as a vintage item after being discontinued in 2005!

So to cut a long story short so I can move onto the next example – after frantic bidding and all the family swapping what’s-app messages and eBay links..

…he now has 68 Micro Machines!

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory; again we all love the original from 1971 and some not so much the 2005 remake.

Well, Cameron as a chocolate lover found me watching the movie on a chilled afternoon and came and sat down - YES - sat down on the sofa, next to me I might add, and was enthralled.

Then the requests started, “Mum…can I watch it again?”

I’m now reaching for my phone and placing an order on Amazon for the DVD.

“Mum….. Can I go to the chocolate factory?”

Now this was a difficult one, what am I going to do now?

I sat down and explained to Cameron that this was a film and was not real, that he actually couldn’t visit the chocolate factory.

Now all my fellow autism parents–

You know that look that your child gives you when they look right through you and did not understand the information you just presented them with?

He repeated his question and I just replied, “We will see!” this bought me some time whilst he was now watching the movie for the 100th time.

A few years ago there was a bit of nostalgia for all things old school – luckily for geeky old me and now luckily for Cameron, I love a bit of this!

“Wow! There are actual Wonka bar replicas with golden tickets…............ I’ll take five”.

Present day and I now took to the Internet to try and find another of these bars but as with the Micro Machines or anything cool - discontinued.

So, again, me being a bit of a hoarder and mildly creative led me to a light bulb moment.

I bought a 30p bar of chocolate from the supermarket as it looked about the right size, I covered it in tinfoil with the golden ticket firmly inside, slid this into the outer sleeve and…voila, a replica Wonka bar of my own.

I packaged this up and drafted an email to Cameron from Willy Wonka himself, with an explanation as to why he could not visit.

I made this a little light hearted too; referring to the five children basically trashing the place, I covertly redirected him to Cadbury's World with the promise that mum will take him in the holidays.

He got a golden ticket!!

I wish I could attach the video of when he opened the Wonka bar and found his golden ticket; imagine the moment Charlie Bucket opened it in that 1971 movie, starting with the top corner – Cameron did the exact same.

He insisted on taking this into school and showing his friends etc…BUT the autism never too far away, very matter of fact: “Eerrrmmmmm mum this says we have to go to the factory on the 1st February at 10am SHARP.”

OK so my plan had a few holes!

I’m only human and can only doctor this so much.

Big Ben…....... or just Ben!

Lastly; there was the time that school were worried that they were struggling to engage Cameron in the learning of, “The Great Fire of London.”

Vehicles were always a way for school to try and engage him in learning but there were no vehicles around in 1666.

He told me that he didn’t know anything about London and that he had never been but would really like to go and see Big Ben, “Or, I could just call him, "Ben", mum?”

So I took him…

I promised that if he tried hard and concentrated on learning about London then we would go on his favourite train ever, the Pendolino and go to London!

So my point is, the above examples are just a few of many occasions where I feel that saying NO to my autistic child was just not an option,

where I needed to up my parenting game.

Some I am not equally as proud of are:

• Chocolate for breakfast

• Using Coca-Cola as a bribery tool

• Letting him interrupt conversations

• McDonald’s everyday for who knows how long (not to face the meltdown of saying no)

I excuse my actions as not making him spoilt or not understanding the meaning of no but more.

Whilst he still grows and faces other struggles outside of my control, should I not try a little to go above and beyond to try and meet/exceed his expectations where I can.

To try and instil happy memories so that these one day out way the sad memories from autism that I am sure we will endure.

Please think of me working towards my current promise of a Disneyworld trip…

I know, and you know there are things that autism makes US do, not only our children.