Additional Needs

Pressure

Posted by Naomi Aldridge on 9th June 2020 Additional Needs, Advice & Support, Disabilities

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Pressure is something you find in all walks of life. It is something I put on myself all the time.

Pressure to be the best mummy, the best wife, the best daughter and the best friend.

Being a special needs mummy comes with extra amounts of pressure. Ethan has a huge amount of therapies that he needs to help him. Whilst he's constantly with me at the moment, all of this falls to me. I have put so much pressure on myself to give him the same input he would get at school. It's not the right attitude and I've had to adjust my way of thinking. Here are my tips to make sure you're easing the pressure on yourself to be at your best all the time.

Perfection isn't possible. You can strive to be perfect, but you won't ever be perfect at everything.

Realistic, be realistic in the goals you set for yourself and those around you. I used to get disheartened when Ethan didn't reach the goals that were set for him. It took me a while to persuade those working with him to provide goals that would encourage him to work towards small achievements. I know him better than anyone, so I know what to set as realistic goals to ensure he really gets the best out of his development.

Be realistic in how much you can achieve in one day. Don't set yourself up to fail by giving yourself too much to handle in one day.

Expectations need to be lowered. By lowering your expectations your life becomes more manageable. You will be disappointed less and you will be able to celebrate all these milestones your child does reach. This doesn't mean you need to have low to no expectations but don't set them too high.

Stop and listen to what your body is telling you. I suffer badly with migraines. Putting pressure and exerting myself all the time means I suffer worse with headaches. It's so important to put yourself first as well. Also, listen to your child and see when they need time out as well and time to adjust to new situations. Behaviour can change during different situations and it's important to take note of this too.

Self-care is important. This is like the relaxation but can also be done in different ways. Try treating yourself to a nice bath, reading a book instead of watching television. Try some meditation to ease stress or getting exercise and fresh air.

United together is so important. Working with people rather than against each other will take the pressure off yourself. Allow people to help you and asking for help will greatly remove pressure. This is something I'm not great at and I definitely need to practice more. We have a team around us and working with them really helps when there's something in particular that we need.

Relaxation is incredibly important. Your body and mind need to recoup ready for the next challenge. Please ensure you are giving yourself enough rest time as well as allowing your child that time to relax too.

Encourage yourself and your child at all points of your journey. Encouraging yourself will allow you to feel happier and more relaxed with everything. Encouraging others really helps self-esteem and will help you to work well with others too.

I hope this helps a little to ease the pressure you put on yourselves. Keep smiling and remember you're doing a great job.