Additional Needs

Finding Out my Husband Isn’t a Superman!

Posted by Rochelle Followes on 15th February 2019 Additional Needs, Advice & Support, Disabilities

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Tim is Zachariah’s hero. He adores him.

Tim is my rock. I rely on him.

As Zachariah has gotten bigger, the logistics have had to change. We rely on our newly fitted hoisting to shower, change and put him to bed.

We rely on his sensory equipment and music  to soothe him rather than cuddling him and have had to become inventive in our ways of enjoying time with him without having to lift him.

It’s hard, we hate it. But reality is he is just too heavy to throw around.

Tim and I aren’t particularly built for lifting, but Tim has never let this stop him, well neither of us have, we break the rules and continue to pick Zachariah up for a cheeky cuddle.

Tim has never thought about it when he's needed to lift him in emergency situations, or in non emergency circumstance to be fair, as the house isn't 100% adapted, we do still have to lift, especially in our living room, as well, we live in there!

But we share this as best we can. However when I’m having a bad back day, Tim would always pick up my slack.

He never moaned. Never really thought too much into it to be honest.

He enjoyed his special Son time and loved a good cuddle.

This setup was recently taken away,

Last week, whilst Tim was at work, I received a text from him.. “I need to show you something tonight”.

Now without giving too much away, I saw this text as a good one.. Wink Wink.

What I did not expect was for Tim to come home and show me a lump!

A very sinister lump!

Keeping my practical head on, I told Tim not to panic, but to book a GP appointment first thing in the morning and get it seen to.

After a very long night and morning, Tim’s Dr gave us the information that we were shocked by, he had a Hernia. A Hernia from lifting Zachariah.

With the advice to prevent lifting Zachariah, and await the letter for a referral for surgery, we were left a bit shell shocked.

My image of Tim being some kind of superhuman had been shattered.

He had always been the one to just do it, just lift Zachariah. He had been the one who came home from work and just did what was needed.

With my back issues, and now Tims Hernia I feel sad that we are not strong enough for our son. I feel our bodies prevent us from giving Zachariah everything he needs.

Some may say this sounds dramatic, but a cuddle is everything to us with our boy, he cannot just walk up to us and wrap his arms around us, we need to lift him and position him on our laps for such a precious moments.

There is a need for us to create special moments with Zachariah.

There are so many other situations I could go into that will now need to be re thought out.

Such as lifting him out of his bed/wheelchair when he’s leaked, lifting him onto the mat for physio/ relaxation time, and putting him on the sofa for story time!

Reality is, hoisting doesn’t fix all lifting needs.

We have had a huge reality check over the past few weeks, as we realise in even more detail that our son has severe disabilities, and life isn’t going to get any easier.

Reality will be a little harder for a while, Tim needs to be cautious. Then he will need to take time out for surgery. It’s our time to look after him.

Now my title isn’t completely true, I may have told a little lie, as supermen don’t need to lift, they just need to love and care. They need to be there for their family.

This is Tim.

He is still and will always be our superman.

He loves us unconditionally.

He is selfless.

He will fix anything that needs fixing. He does all those annoying jobs that no one wants to do!

He works hard to support us financially.

He is our Superman!

Much love,

Rochelle

My Daily Miracle xx