Autumn is a fabulous time of the year, with so many changes in the natural world and so many treasures to look for and find! We’ve been making a natural fiddles/fidget box, maybe you would like to make one too?
There are loads of wonderful, sensory things that you can add to a natural fiddles/fidget box. I’ll show you what we’ve put in ours so far, but we’re looking forward to adding some beautiful leaves when they fall soon too. Here are the other things we’ve found and added, as well as some ‘extras’ that we’ve included in our fiddles/fidget box too!
Pine cones – We live near some pine woods so we’ve gathered these lovely cones for our fiddles/fidget box
Wooden batons – These lovely, tactile wooden batons were cut from fallen branches in the woods near our home
Conkers – We had to walk a bit to where there is an avenue of horse chestnut trees, but it was worth it to get these smooth conkers (be careful if you use these that you supervise their use as they could be a choking hazard)
Feathers – Where we live borders the countryside, so there are plenty of pheasant feathers. There are lots of other lovely feathers that you can find though, just remember to wash them first so that they are nice and clean.
Shells – We also live near the sea (We know, we’re very lucky), so we could go and pick up some nice seashells to add to the fiddles/fidget box. Again, remember to wash them first
There are other natural things that we’re going to add to the fiddles/fidget box; I’ve mentioned autumn leaves, but we’re going to find some nice smooth pebbles too. We’ve also added a few ‘bought’ items but have tried to make them in keeping with the natural approach as much as possible, which for example means no plastic. Here’s some of them…
A colouring book and pencils
A natural linen scarf
Painted wooden dominoes
Painted wooden maracas
Painted wooden twist-lock block
Wooden box – Finally, you’ll need a nice wooden box to put everything in. We’ve found one that we can paint or decorate to make it look special.
So, how about creating your own natural autumn fiddles/fidget box! It will be lots of fun exploring and collecting together, and you’ll enjoy using the fiddles/fidget box throughout the winter… maybe you could then make a spring one!
They have done it again! Watching the John Lewis Christmas 2021 advert had me welling up in tears as I saw, once again, a story of inclusion unfolding before me. Like in 2019 with the story of Edgar the dragon and his friend Ava, the new advert showcases how to be inclusive of someone who is different.
As I watched Nathan reach out to Skye, the space alien that had crash-landed near his home, the ways that he made a difference for her gives us some great lessons in how we can do the same for anyone, whatever ways they might be different from us. Their story could easily relate to someone who is a child refugee, or a child with additional needs, for example.
Here are some of the things that Nathan did to make a difference for Skye that touched me:
He noticed and made the effort to check
Nathan saw Skye’s spaceship crash land. It would have been easy to ignore what he had seen, but he didn’t, he followed up and made the effort to check it out. So often if we see something happen it is easier for us to look the other way, to not get involved, to leave it to someone else to help. Nathan took the time to go and check out what he had seen for himself, he noticed and got involved.
He was initially afraid, but he went back
When Nathan finds Skye initially he is afraid, but then he decides to go back again; he overcomes his uncertainty. Sometimes people can be afraid of difference, and remain afraid, unwilling to see beyond the difference and to see the person. To challenge themselves about why they are afraid. Nathan teaches us that we can overcome this uncertainty and fear and see the person too.
He learned to communicate with Skye
Nathan found a way to connect with Skye, to reach out to her. He mirrors her own communication to show that he wants to be her friend. People might use a different language, or communicate in alternative ways; Nathan shows us that if we try then anyone can adapt to the ways of communicating that other people use.
He met Skye’s needs
Nathan realised that Skye must be hungry, so he snuck out with some food for her. It can be easy to overlook the basic needs that people might have, especially if they have limited resources of their own. Nathan teaches us to be observant and to meet the needs of people who have less than us or have an immediate need.
He had fun with Skye
Nathan and Skye become friends and enjoy spending time together, overcoming their differences to find each other in a snowball fight and watching a film. Sometimes there is a perception that people who are very different to us can’t be our friends, but Nathan and Skye dispel that myth and show us that genuine friendship can blossom anywhere.
He missed her when she went away
When Skye has to go home, Nathan misses his new friend. Sometimes there can be an unfortunate sense of relief in certain settings if, for example, a child with additional needs doesn’t come to the club one week. Nathan shows us those genuine relationships, allowing us to really appreciate and care for everyone, which means that if anyone isn’t there then they are really missed.
So, let’s learn together this Christmas. Let’s notice people who are different to us and make an effort to get to know them, finding that they are really just like us in so many ways. Let’s not be afraid of difference, but let’s embrace it. Let’s learn to communicate in whatever ways we, and the person we’re with, needs us to. Let’s help to meet people’s needs. Let’s break down barriers and have fun together. And let’s miss each other for all the right reasons when we can’t be together.
It’s that time of year when the nights start drawing in, the weather starts getting colder, nature starts to shut down in preparation for the winter ahead. It can be a time that can affect many of us mentally, as we struggle with the relative lack of sunlight and being cooped up at home more (just as we are getting used to being allowed out again!). This can be especially true for families of children with special or additional needs, for whom survival from one day to the next can be the reality anyway. At least in the summer, there might be more options for ways to keep our children occupied and engaged.
But autumn, and even winter, can bring their own special opportunities too. Hygge is a Danish and Norwegian word for a mood of cosiness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment. Studies show that people living in the arctic circle are armed with a mindset linked to this that helps combat the long ‘polar night’, a bit of ‘hygge’ might come in handy for us all especially for parents of children with special or additional needs.
In the depths of winter, Tromsø in Norway gets no direct sunlight at all, and only the faint glow of indirect sunlight for a couple of hours or so a day. Yet, despite this, Tromsø’s citizens do not seem to struggle with low mood or seasonally affective disorder (SAD) in the way that might be expected. In fact, generally, the mental health of the good folk of Tromsø is in excellent shape.
So why is this? What is the secret that they share? And how can this be relevant to special needs parents? Well, it seems that there is a ‘mindset’ that people living north of the arctic circle share, and the further north you go, the stronger this mindset becomes. How people perceive and frame stressful events strongly influences how they are affected by them.
People who think about adverse situations and events as a challenge, an opportunity to learn new things and to adapt to new ways of living are likely to cope much better than people who focus on the immediate difficulties as well as negative outcomes that “might” happen in the future. How we respond affects our mental health and well-being, as well as our physical health.
So, what does this Scandinavian positivity teach us as special needs parents? Well, it’s so easy to be dominated by negative feelings, fears for the future, the mental and physical exhaustion we can often experience. But maybe if we can train ourselves to find the positives, to look for the opportunities to learn and adapt, we can find our own ‘hygge’ too. We can find that there are ways to cope with our own ‘times of winter’, those dark periods where it all seems too much. And the more we try it, the better we’ll get at it!
This isn’t to sugar-coat things or to deny the difficulties that we face, and we can’t hide from these challenges any more than the citizens of Tromsø can pretend that the sun is still rising. However, by recognising our own capacity to control our responses we may all find some hidden reserves of strength and resilience to help us face each day.
There is a perception ‘out there’ that children who, for all kinds of reasons, are labelled or identified as ‘non-verbal’, are unable to communicate. That having less speech than other children (or no perceived speech at all) means that they cannot share how they are feeling, what they need, what they want to do, or any of the vast range of things that humans communicate with each other all day, every day.
This perception creates huge levels of anxiety both for the children themselves and their families. Speaking ‘like everyone else’ becomes a mountain to climb, something that must be conquered at all costs. What it can also do is to overlook and diminish the many other wonderful ways that children communicate, often subtly, but nevertheless being used clearly to share so much with us.
Those who have studied nonverbal communication tell us that perhaps 60-70 per cent of our communication doesn’t rely on words. So why do we put so much energy into trying to force our ‘nonverbal’ children to use that 30-40 per cent of communication and speak, instead of also focussing on learning their communication skills and ways of sharing with us that are perhaps twice as common? It’s like trying to teach Japanese to a child without understanding or using their own first language.
Whether it is the use of eye contact, facial expressions, gestures, positioning and posture, all kinds of body language, mood, or the sounds made, the loudness, pitch, rhythm or tone used, all and more are communicative.
My son, James, has a very limited range of verbal communication, maybe 20 words that he can use, but his communication is fluent. He makes it abundantly clear how he is feeling, what he wants or needs, what he wants to do etc. We just need to tune in to his communication and understand it. Just like any ‘language’ it can take time to learn the communication our children use; sometimes we don’t pick up on something straight away and this can cause frustration, but patience and practice help!
One of James’ few words is “appy!”, which he will often use to communicate how he is feeling, whether he is happy or not. If James uses “appy!” while his face is frowning and his lips are turned down, if his eyes are downcast, if his tone is abrupt and low, if he is scrunched up on the sofa with his legs pulled up, he is telling us how he is feeling in all of those ways while using “appy!” as a general catch-all for feelings.
Non-Verbal communication is complex and can take more decoding than verbal communication, but it can be just as rich and expressive if we are willing to learn it. So, if your child is labelled or identified as ‘non-verbal’, as well as carefully exploring ways together to see if they can develop some use of speech, make sure you learn their language too…it’s just as beautiful!
One in five of the 13 million children and young people in the UK have additional needs of some kind, that’s approximately 2.5 million children and young people, yet many people, including lots of professionals, struggle to understand the best ways to be inclusive when engaging with them and their families. Here’s a great model to follow:
A starting point for engaging with families with children and young people with additional needs is to work with them and not ‘about’ them. So often, children, young people, and their families can have inclusion ‘done unto’ them poorly by well-meaning people who could have done things much better if only they had asked. By using the simple ASK approach below, the input of children and young people with additional needs, and their families, can help us know the best way to journey with them and support them. It recognises the helpful phrase “Nothing about us, without us.”
Ask – Simply ask. Get in touch with families of children and young people with additional needs and ask them to help you to get this right. Tell them that you really value their input and that together you can make a difference. You might have to apologise if you haven’t sought their input before or have ignored their previous suggestions. Ask them what barriers they have experienced, there will probably be some you haven’t thought of, and agree to work on removing them together.
Seek – What solutions can they think of? Are there ideas that have been helpful for them/their child or young person in other settings, e.g. school, home, clubs, etc. that could be adapted to work in your context? We don’t have to invent the wheel, there is likely to be a perfectly good one rolling along elsewhere in a child’s life!
Know – Learn from the families and from the children and young people themselves. They are subject experts about their child and know most about their child’s best ways of experiencing and navigating a safe and successful way through the world and will have a wealth of knowledge to share that can help us in our context; let them be your guide!
So, whether you are a professional, a family member or friend, another parent/carer, someone who is looking to journey with and support children and young people with additional needs and their families, let’s recognise how difficult the last 18-months, in particular, have been for them, let’s apologise for when we’ve got it wrong, let’s ASK them to help us to get it right, and let’s journey ‘with’ them in the future!
All of us, whether adults or children, whether we have special needs or not, are sensory creatures. We can all have senses that at times are under responsive (hyposensitive), or overly responsive (hypersensitive), meaning that we regularly, often subconsciously, are trying to balance our sensory systems. This can sometimes take the form of sensory seeking, where we are trying to activate our senses in any way possible. How many times have we seen our children swinging their feet or tapping their fingers, twirling their hair, biting their nails, tapping their pencil, or clicking their pen? Maybe some of these are sensory seeking actions that we do as parents too!
Often while out and about or even at home with our children there can be times when they are sensory seeking and this can sometimes lead to them searching for something to help them to regulate their senses. In the absence of anything to support them, they may end up becoming distracted and disengaged, or even find the sensory input they need by using someone else as a fidget/fiddle item!
Providing a range of fidget or fiddle toys can be a really effective part of the resource toolkit for families, offering children and young people safe ways to meet the sensory needs that they have, so let’s have a think about what things you might include in your fiddles box.
Each child or young person will, like all of us, have a favourite item that they will choose from the fiddles box; something that meets their sensory needs and helps them. Having a selection of different items in your fiddles box will ensure that you’ve got something for everyone and if more than one child wants the same thing, well most items are fairly inexpensive so adding more to the box shouldn’t be difficult.
The variety of things to include can be up to each family and their children/young people, but here are a few suggestions (see also the main photo).
Something you can twist; a string of wooden ‘twist and lock’ blocks that can be twisted into
shapes, or pipe-cleaners can be bent or twisted into spirals and can be excellent for this.
Something you can stretch; stretchy ‘snakes’, or stretchy ‘people’, both work well.
Something you can squish/squeeze; modelling clay or putty is a favourite for this, and is the go-to item for my son James, but a soft mesh ball that you can squeeze is also good, as is a soft cuddly toy.
Something that has a little bit of weight; such as a bean bag or similar. If this is a sensory need that is regularly sought by a child, then a weighted lap pad or weighted blanket might be worth considering.
Something you can click, manipulate etc; the favourite item in this category at the moment is the pop/push sheets that are a bit like bubble wrap (see the rainbow version in the photo). Fidget cubes can be good for this too.
Sometimes children need something to do while they are listening. It can help them to have an activity that uses their hands while they take in what is being said. A craft activity, some colouring, a jigsaw, ideally something that is themed around what they are listening to, all can help them to concentrate and focus. In more general-purpose fiddles boxes, I use an activity book and colouring pencils, or some wooden dominoes, for this.
Lots of other ideas are out there; what would your children find helpful? What you have in your fiddles box might also depend on where you are going to use it; for example, think about whether you need items that are silent in use. Remember to think about safety too, does your child put things in their mouth for example. Also, if you have items in the box that light up, remember that while this might help ‘wake up’ some under responsive sensory systems, it can over stimulate others!
It is important that everyone has the opportunity to choose something from the fiddles box that will help them. It shouldn’t only be available to some children or this risks building resentment. Initially, the excitement of it all might make it a short-term distraction, but things will settle down quite quickly and then having access to the fiddles box will be normalised and will aid concentration and focus. Don’t forget to add extra of any items that are popular!
I hope you find these tips helpful, and look forward to hearing your stories as you create your own fiddles/fidget box and use it effectively with your children! Now, where did I put my stretchy snake…
As the dust settles from another successful Paralympic Games, many of us have asked ourselves “What is the ongoing reality for disabled people in the UK?”
We asked Samantha Milne, a wheelchair basketball player with Leicester Cobras, and who featured in the recent BBC News broadcast about the Paralympics legacy and the ‘WeThe15’ campaign representing the 15% of the world’s population that is disabled, to share some of her story.
About Sam
My name is Samantha Milne, I am 33 years old and live in Leicestershire. I have a disability called Cerebral Palsy. Cerebral Palsy is a Neurological Condition that effects my movement, coordination, and speech. The effect of this means that everyday tasks, such as walking, use a lot more energy and I get tired much quicker.
Church Life
I was a member of the Girls Brigade and have belonged to a few churches, most recently being at Mosaic Church in Leicester. Finding my place within church has sometimes been a challenge as I have found some churches can often view a person with a disability as their “project” and some hold healing services; while I recognise the place for prayer for healing, it can sometimes become uncomfortable and eventually was a factor in me moving to another church.
Moving to Mosaic Church about three years ago was a decision I thought and prayed about a lot, and it took around a year for me to make the move, but it was the right decision. My connection to Mosaic Church started after my Crusaders (now Urban Saints) leaders left the area. I was looking to meet young Christians and my Crusaders leaders met a couple at their church that have family that belonged to Mosaic Church Leicester. We began talking and I started to attend some of their events, for a while I divided my time between the two churches.
This wasn’t a situation I felt happy with but due to having move churches previously, and originally being very happy at this church, I felt I needed to be sure about my decision. I questioned if I was letting people down, was it the right decision? My decision was made when my grandmother passed away; she passed away on a Sunday morning and I choose to go to Mosaic. For the last two years I have attended Mosaic, I have made a great set of friends, become more independent, confident, and have grown in my faith.
Girls Brigade
I became a member of the Girls Brigade from the age of five when they visited school to tell us about Girls Brigade. I worked to achieve many awards and eventually completed my leadership training and my Brigadier Brooch. In 2003 I was awarded the Endurance Award; this is a special award that is awarded to girls who have continued to attend Girls Bridge in spite of health challenges, only about 40 of these awards are presented each year. I believe that my years in the Girls Brigade really helped me build by confidence and self-esteem. I was a member of the Girls Brigade for around fifteen years and in this time belonged to three different companies including the first company to meet in a school rather than a church.
The Bible
One of the most helpfully Bible passages I found was Psalm 139 verses 13 to 14:
‘For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.’
These verses talk about being made in the image of God. This verse really spoke to me about God having a plan for my life, and I felt strongly that my disability had a place in this plan. This combined with having taken time to accept my disability; this further added to my feeling that praying for healing just didn’t sit comfortably with me, I didn’t feel that Gods plan involved healing me from my Cerebral Palsy. This doesn’t mean that I haven’t had moments of wondering why I have Cerebral Palsy, and wishing I could be able to do certain things, but over time I have adapted and actually been given some amazing opportunities because I have my disability.
Crusaders/Urban Saints
My journey with Crusaders started in 2006, when I attended the Crusaders Centenary at the Royal Albert Hall; what a amazing experience! This was actually my second time to visit this beautiful building as I had previously been with the Girls Brigade.
In 2011, after learning to drive, I became more involved in Crusaders, helping at the Group on a weekly basis. I also completed my ‘Insights’ Training Course For Christian Youth and Children’s Leadership Teams. I was also able to attend a few weekends away, first visiting Wales then going to Derbyshire. This was a big step in building my confidence and independence, I also enjoyed the opportunities to try different activities such as raft building and kayaking.
Channel 4 ‘Superheroes’
More recently, I have been involved with the Superhero Series; this was founded by Sophia Warner, a Paralympian who also has Cerebral Palsy. I came across the event on the internet and decided to fill my details in for a chance to take part in the celebrity relay. One of the questions I was asked was ‘What’s my superpower?’ I knew exactly what the answer was, “to never give up”. Growing up, my dad used to say that this was the easiest thing to do, to give up, so I made it my aim to give everything my all and not to give up. To date, I can only think of three things that I really gave up on, riding a bike, roller-skating and ice skating. At the time, not being able to ride a two wheeled bike seemed like a big deal; little did I know that I’d be able to drive and the wheelchair that I’d hated would allow my independence and enable me to do so many great things!
A few weeks after entering, having not thought about it, I opened my emails to find I had a place on the Celebrity Relay at Winter Wonderwheels 2017; having entered this without looking at all the details I had to quickly find out where and when we were going!
The event took place on the 3rd December 2017, our friends came to meet us, it was a very cold but amazing day out; I ended up on a mini bus with Jonny Peacock! My team captain was Chris Jones, a former soldier, who was dressed as a reindeer and riding a bicycle. Each team was made up of three people who worked together to complete the course.
In 2019 I had the opportunity to take part in the Superhero Tri, and I was lucky enough to once again take part in the Celebrity Tri! This time my team Captain was the BBC Security Correspondent, Frank Gardner. As the name suggests, the Superhero Tri is made up of running or wheeling, cycling, and swimming, although it allows participants to use any equipment they need to complete the course; I took part in the wheeling section of the course.
I have also written for ‘The Mighty’; this is an online magazine for people who have disabilities who can submit articles about their life with a disability. I have written five articles, my first being about the experience in mainstream school; I have also written about how having a physical disability had affected my mental health, about learning to drive, and about how using a light weight made to measure wheelchair has improved my life.
Wheelchair Basketball
I have been playing wheelchair basketball for around five years, having first started at an inclusive sports club before joining my local wheelchair basketball club; after initially just taking part in weekly training I then joined the women league. I really enjoy playing wheelchair basketball, having previously not being able to take part in group sport I really enjoy being part of a team.
The opportunity to take part in the filming for BBC News came when I was contacted by our Club Chairman. Having not had the chance to do much over the lockdown I jumped at the chance, not really knowing how much I would be filmed but really grateful for the chance to not only play basketball but to raise awareness of the issues many people with disabilities still face.
While I have witnessed many positive changes for people who have disability, I feel that more can still be done. One of the issues I face regularly is doors being too heavy for me to open, changing doors to power push button opening would make a huge difference to my independence. I feel that a lot has been made of making things step free, but steps are just one issues we face.
Our Autistic son, James, became overwhelmed a few days ago, an experience that will be familiar to many families of Autistic children. Like any Autistic child or young person, when James is overwhelmed there can be a wide range of triggers that could be causing it as well as different ways that he can respond to it.
He may be being overwhelmed by sensory input, it could start from frustration that we can’t understand something that he is trying to communicate to us (he is mostly non-verbal, but communicates in other ways), it could be due to a change of routine, he could be in pain or feeling unwell, or it could just be that his iPad battery has gone flat!
A so called ‘meltdown’ isn’t an Autistic young person being ‘badly behaved’, it isn’t them ‘pushing boundaries’ or ‘being difficult’. It is a brain overload, like a storm engulfing their brain, and it is not something that they can do much about in that moment, but there is plenty that we can do to help and support them.
Each child is different and will have their own sensory profile, for example, things that they are over or ‘hyper’ sensitive to including all of the better known senses (sight, sound, smell, taste and things that they touch) but also senses like balance and movement (vestibular), positioning and pressure (proprioception) as well as the sensory receptors that we all have in our internal organs (interoception).
Understanding these sensory sensitivities helps us to then help the children and young people that we care for to avoid sensory triggers, or if this isn’t possible then to provide ways to reduce their impact e.g. ear defenders for loud noise, or sunglasses for bright or flickering light, and to identify a peaceful nearby rest area if we see them starting to become overwhelmed.
Autistic children and young people can often crave consistency and routine, for things to be similar each time. This can be because they then feel more secure, know what to expect, and what is expected of them, and can be sure that nothing is going to surprise and overwhelm them. Changes to a programme or plan, especially at short notice, can be very hard to cope with as it can create anxiety about being overwhelmed or lead to a brain overload.
Another form of brain overload is sometimes referred to as a ‘shutdown’. An Autistic child or young person may be unable to speak or move, sitting or lying still, as a response to being overloaded. It can be just as powerful a brain overload as a ‘meltdown’ and affect an Autistic young person just as profoundly, while being less obvious to anyone else.
It is important to understand that it is likely to take an Autistic child or young person a while to fully recover from a brain overload, even if the cause has been identified and fixed. The more visible aspects of a brain overload might seem to be over after a short time, but it can affect a child or young person for the rest of the day. Just being there with them, reassuring them and offering unconditional love, helps them to know that they are safe and cared for and that there is nothing to fear. Letting them rest and not expecting them to do much gives them the time and space they need to recover fully. We can then look to learn from the experience together, understanding and seeking ways where possible to identify and minimise the trigger that caused the brain overload from affecting them again.
A great way to understand brain overloads better, and to identify triggers, is to talk with Autistic adults about their experiences of them, what strategies they have put in place to reduce the risk of them, and any advice that they can offer us as we care for Autistic children and young people.
No two people are the same, but there will be some really helpful things that we can learn from people that have been in similar situations to where the children and young people that we care for are now. Let’s learn more together.
Acceptance(noun), defined by the English Living Dictionary as; 1. The action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered. 2. The process or fact of being received as adequate, valid, or suitable. 3. Agreement with or believe in an idea or explanation. 4. Willingness to tolerate a difficult situation.
Acceptance is a word that has several meanings, and which can mean different things to different people. Within the context of a blog about children and young people with additional needs these meanings can be complex and very individual, but I found the dictionary definitions shown above strangely familiar; maybe you will too.
“The action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered…”
When someone becomes the parent of a child with additional needs, lots of things change and life will never be the same again. Many dreams and hopes are shattered, lost forever.
When James was a baby, I dreamed of him striding out to open in bat for England in an Ashes test match (in 2002 we were desperate, we still are!), finding the cure for cancer, or being the first human to set foot on Mars. All highly unlikely, but rather than them being slowly eroded, they were all snatched away in an instant, the instant when James was aged 2½ and that someone very carefully, very kindly, but very seriously said “James has Autism, and will have associated learning difficulties”.
Did we love him any the less? No, of course not. Did we reject him? No, he was still our son and now needed us to be there for him all the more. We consented to receive the hard news that James had additional needs, to undertake a lifetime of caring for him, and to dream new dreams about our future together, accepting that things would now be very different, and determined to make the best of it!
“The process or fact of being received as adequate, valid, or suitable…”
One thing that people of any age with a disability or additional needs, or their families, want is to be treated the same, viewed the same, have the same opportunities, as anyone else. For their life to be valid, to have meaning, to be received in the same way as their peers.
The reality can be painfully different, with rejection and exclusion common, misunderstanding rife, and opportunities restricted or non-existent. “Persons with disabilities, on average as a group, are more likely to experience adverse socioeconomic outcomes than persons without disabilities, such as less education, poorer health outcomes, lower levels of employment, and higher poverty rates.”
(Source: World Bank, Sept 2016)
We will always receive James as valid, he is more than adequate to us, he will forever be entirely suitable and accepted as our son, and we will not allow his life choices to be restricted by others. The situation is very different for so many though; if disabled people were a nation, they would be the third most populous in the world (after China and India). Surely they deserve us to keep fighting to change perceptions, change reality, and yes change the world for them!
“Agreement with or belief in an idea or explanation…”
The idea of a world where everyone, regardless of their ability or disability, is considered equal, is accepted as just as valid as anyone else, is viewed in the same way as their peers, having the same opportunities as anyone else, shouldn’t be far-fetched, and I don’t believe that it is.
I believe that things are shifting, that in society at large perceptions are changing. I campaign for that change, working to make a difference for those with additional needs and disabilities, especially children and young people. More and more people, including many of you reading this, are joining with me in agreement with that belief and idea. Accepting the challenge to model and demonstrate acceptance, to spread the message of inclusion and belonging, to be catalysts for change.
“Willingness to tolerate a difficult situation…”
We can choose to accept a situation or choose not to accept it but to change it. I cannot accept a society that doesn’t include disabled children or my disabled friends. I cannot accept a society that thinks traditions, beliefs, or things are more important than people. Where the sound of a child with Autism is drowned out by ‘tuts’, where love is replaced by condemning stares, those attitudes cannot be tolerated.
There are many wonderful people and organisations who won’t accept this either and who individually as well as through partnerships are changing society. There is much to do, but it has a sense of momentum that events like the Paralympic Games give a boost to. But we need to keep that momentum going, to keep pushing together for acceptance for our children. Acceptance, one word with many meanings, but the meaning that I cling to the most is the meaning of love; to love is to choose to fully and unconditionally accept someone, loving them for who they are, with all that that brings.
