Why is it in the evening when all the kids are tucked up fast asleep we end up missing them a little?
No matter how challenging the day has been, even if everything went wrong that could go wrong, we still want a night-time cuddle?
That unconditional love is what keeps us going.
That first summer we had all 3 girls it was total chaos.
Sleep was non-existent, I picked up the wrong baby out the cot at night on more than one occasion, placing back a sleeping baby whilst the other is still lying there crying is on a par with handling an unexploded hand grenade.
One sudden move and its game over they are both up screaming.
Made the odd rookie error of walking down the hallway with a screaming baby at 1am and before you know it I also had a 2 year old up on the baby monitor to join the party.
I actually remember like it was last week.
Sitting there with both baby girls trying to feed and wind whilst reading a book to Grace at 3 in the morning desperately convincing her it is not morning time yet.
Praying all of them might go back to sleep for just a few more hours.
The days all rolled into one and the weeks went by.
Before we knew it Christmas came along, both of the twins slept at the same time and it was the first hot lunch I had eaten since they came home.
It was surreal not having to bounce a crying baby or rock a double pram with one hand whilst shovelling food in like it was the last supper with the other.
Somehow in a blink of an eye we were in national lockdown living in a pandemic.
Celebrating the first birthday for both girls proudly sat in there adaptive seating, I could of pinched myself at how far we come.
Then time flown being at home and ended up with a 4 year old sassy pre-schooler who knows her numbers, letters, started ballet and horse riding.
We have applied for a reception place at school, even looked at nurseries to take the twins for a couple sessions a week to get used to socialising.
The baby years are a thing of the past, I am starting to strangely miss the steriliser, the middle of the night parties.
Well no, that’s a lie I am still awake multiple times a night it is like spinning a roulette wheel, but they all sleep through the others crying it is like white noise to them now!
Someone told me when I went back to work “enjoy it the days are long but the years are short” I smiled sweetly blissfully unaware how true it is.
My eyes may still have bags that are beyond repair but my heart is full and I look back at the thousands of pictures and realise everyday was an honour to be present no matter how chaotic it was.