National Sibling Day

My brother finds things hard.

He’s rubbish at his times tables and he can’t write his name. He can’t talk and mummy still dresses him. He can’t read and he can’t play games.

He goes to hospital lots because he shakes and screams and his eyes don’t work right.

Everybody loves my brother.

Everybody talks about my brother.

Everybody says he is special.

Sometimes I wonder if I am special?

I don’t get a bath every night but he does. He screams at me if I want a bath because it isn’t his routine.

I just tell mum I don’t want a bath as I hate him screaming.

He screams at me when I don’t have a dummy in. It’s not fair because I don’t want my friends seeing me with a dummy.

He doesn’t care about me. He screams when I eat.

He has to be first out the car; first in the house and he screams at me if I come in the house with my coat on.

He screams if he gets dressed before me in the mornings and he screams if I touch any of his toys when he is in the bath.

He screams at me if I wear socks at bedtime.

He screams all the time and I hate it.

He attacks me too.

If I take too long eating he attacks me.

He has hurt me lots.

Mummy says he doesn’t understand but I think she loves him more.

He has broken lots of my toys. He walks over them or he throws them or fiddles with them.

It’s not fair because I don’t touch his toys.

He won’t let me in his room but he comes in my room and takes my clock off the wall or feeds my fish horrible things like bubble bath.

Sometimes I hate him.

Sometimes I think mum and dad love him more than me.

Mummy takes him to hospital. I don’t like it there because it’s boring but I don’t like that he gets mummy and I don’t. I don’t get time with mum like that and I always get left with other people like gran.

Maybe mummy doesn’t love me?

My brother got star of the week at school.

I told him he was great even though all he did was scribble on a bit of paper.

I got playground award for joining in games with other children and he never even looked at me or said well done.

I know he can’t speak but he never even looked at me.

That made me sad.

I love Isaac.

He can be funny and silly and he has teddies with no clothes because he has chewed all the clothes.

He likes eating and watching Bing Bunny and street map google thingy.

He likes lifts and hand dryers too.

He makes me happy and he makes me sad all at the same time.

Everyone sees my brother but sometimes people don’t see me.

About Miriam Gwynne

Full time mum and carer for two truly wonderful autistic twins. I love reading, writing, walking, swimming and encouraging others. Don’t struggle alone and always remember someone cares.