Learning to Accept Kindness

It was always a plan to go back to work once our baby was in school.

It was always a plan to find my place in the industry and do something I love whilst earning.

With a lot of you in a similar boat, you will know the strong feeling of disappointment and unknown belonging when that time comes but you are restricted by your child’s health to go along with the plan and get back into work.

This has come with many restrictions.

Finance is tight, and there are many boundaries when it comes to enjoying life if something costs.

I often get the stern eye from the husband when I have had a cheeky meal out or spent too much in Debenhams… please tell me I’m not the only one?

A huge barrier has been getting Zachariah exactly what he wants and needs. We just cannot afford it with one wage and the DLA benefits.

We have had to rely on the kindness of others to help us through difficult times.

My in-laws have helped us with donations and our friends and the wider community have pulled together to raise important funds for Zachariah.

Around 4 years ago now, when Zachariah was approaching his 1st Birthday, it became apparent that he would need a Wheelchair.

The pram was not supporting him enough and soon would be too small… Yes, he was a big lad! Due to our area, this was not something that would be funded until he reached Pre School age.

With no hesitations, our close friends and church pulled a huge fundraiser together and raised around £4,000.

Zachariah got the much-needed wheelchair plus other amazing pieces of equipment such as the well-loved GoTo seat!

It was extremely emotional watching everyone come together and bring a little something to create a successful event.

At the end of last year, we were blessed with an adapted property from the council. With a name like ‘adapted,’ you would think this would include the garden…

However no luck, the garden is an absolute shambles with every flag being a different level and angle. After spending so much doing up the house, and myself struggling to do the little work I had been offered, it was financially impossible to pay for the garden to be done up.

I thought about fundraising but didn’t want to be judged as we had already been so blessed as a family.

However as people began to hear about the garden, they automatically wanted to help and yet again another fundraiser formed.

Whilst in planning and advertising, a charity popped up and wanted to help.

They visited us last week and pledged to do our whole garden! I was utterly amazed and overwhelmed at the generosity.

We are having Zachariah’s garden completely transformed to suit his needs and monies raised at the fundraiser will buy a portable hoist to allow Zachariah access to all parts of the garden including the swimming pool/hot tub.

I have learned that people want and love to help. And when people offer it is best to accept with gratitude.

It is not naturally easy for me to receive help, I guess there’s the voice in my head telling me that I should be the one to give my son everything he needs, however, I have had to overcome this pride as there are so many beautiful people out there who love to give and help others.

These people are truly amazing and we owe them everything.

I guess it’s similar to compliments. They can be so difficult to digest.

I was approached recently by a lady at church, who wanted to tell me how much she believes I am doing an incredible job with Zachariah and any doubts I have about this should be thrown away.

I truly did not know what to say. I end up feeling quite embarrassed and anxious.

I haven’t worked out why, but I guess sometimes we can struggle with the attention when we focus so much on our children. It isn’t natural for us to hear kind words about ourselves.

In these situations, we should embrace them and thank the person for being so kind.

As kindness should be celebrated and encouraged. It will overshadow those negatives if we take time to focus on it.

Whether it be words or acts of kindness, learn how to accept them as some people really are for us not against us.

Much love,

My Daily Miracle xx

About Rochelle Followes

I am parent to a gorgeous little blue eyed boy who has complex needs. I have a Facebook page, 'my daily miracle' where I share our life with others. I am an active parent who's working hard to make Zachariah's world more inclusive for him. I like to look at the positives and celebrate everything, but I'm also not afraid to show it how it really is when life gets tough.

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