He is 4 years old and still has yet to reach many milestones that, “should”, have been met years ago.

He has congenital disorder of glycosylation and is severely delayed, he is nonverbal and can prop sit for brief periods of time.

To be honest, I rarely think anymore in the terms of where he “should” be but rather in the present time of where he is.

But there are times when his delays sneak up on me and look me right in the eye.

Recently I was cleaning out our toy/therapy room and setting things aside for a yard sale.

This was when our son’s global developmental delay stared me straight in the face.

I had a large box where I was putting rattles and other infant type toys, toys that I would classify as 0-6 months on the development chart.

As I grabbed each one and placed it in the box I realized that many of them our son never even played with.

He may have held some, but most of them he didn’t “play” with the way they were intended.

He didn’t shake them to make music, he didn’t twist them to make a clicking sound, and he didn’t squeeze them to hear the giggle.

I remember purchasing many of them at second-hand stores and thinking this will be the one.

I searched for the toy that he would play with. Local thrift stores, Amazon, and suggestions from other parents.

When I say that we could be our own second-hand store I’m not kidding. We have them all.

Soft, hard, noisy, ones that shake, ones that spin, and ones with cute little animal faces. All of them, and yet, nothing.

As much as I wanted to let the tears flow when looking at my box of toys, I decided to change my thinking.

Each toy represented my determination.

Every rattle represented my hope.

Every single one shows my attitude to never give up.

He may always have the diagnosis of global developmental delay, and he will always have me.