My son came downstairs recently; stood right in front of the TV, totally oblivious to the movie we were watching and started……….
“Dad, do you know that the Tiger Tank was over engineered, the materials used were much too expensive. The tracks on the tank often failed mechanically and the fuel consumption was totally rubbish – can you believe that?”
Cameron has always been interested in mechanics; whether it be planes trains, vehicles really of any size. He has knowledge – really intricate knowledge beyond his years on the workings of pistons or points on a railway – his brain fascinates us. Yet he can’t remember to change his underwear or does he know how to tie his laces.
I looked at my husband when he walked back off upstairs and we both laughed. I said to my husband “Would you change the autism now?” and he shook his head, “no me neither!!” – and I actually meant it this time.
You see it wasn’t always so.
I used to think people were liars when they would say “I wouldn’t change them for the world”. My heart would race, I would get annoyed and I would think why were these people just not being honest, I thought “WHAT?! yes, yes you would – If you had the chance you would want your child to be typical and not face the uncertain future that they have with their disability!!”
This was before I accepted the uniqueness of my son, before I actually started to watch and observe the way he saw the world and fully appreciate him:
- The way he clicks his tongue in time with the indicator on the car.
- How he knows every car manufacturer logo
- The way his vocabulary and context could easily be that of a college student (event if he couldn’t spell any of the words)
- His love for watching “top kitchen gadgets” and thereafter his recommendations for what would make my cooking life more easy
- How we will run his hand over my knee and stop to take in the scar I obtained as a child and be full of concern when he heard of how it happened
- The way he has literally no filter – will say what he thinks 100% of the time
- How he will tell me literally 50 times a day “I really love you mum”
It took a good while, with many tears and so much heartache to get to this point.