A few weekends ago my husband and I celebrated our anniversary with a night away in a lovely hotel.
We very rarely get to go out together as having two boys with additional needs means it is difficult to get childcare. While we were away it felt like a little escape and I started to think about what our lives would be like if we hadn’t entered the world of being special needs parents.
I felt a bit guilty about this but I was thinking I’d have a wardrobe full of trendy clothes, I’d be able to take long bubble baths, I’d visit lovely restaurants with friends, I’d travel the world and see new places, I’d have a career, I’d get a full night’s sleep every night, my back wouldn’t be breaking every day due to all the lifting I do.
As I was thinking about this different life and feeling guilty I also asked myself the question of would my life be fulfilled if it was different?
Would I be the person I am today? You see my boys have taught me more about life than anyone else – here’s just a few little lessons they’ve taught me.
Take one day at a time – I think this is the most valuable lesson my boys have taught me.
Before my boys came along, I was a really stressed person. I would worry about the small stuff and I liked to plan ahead. I liked to be in control but my boys have shown me that life doesn’t always follow a neat, straight path and that’s okay.
They’ve shown me that it’s okay to be scared of the future, it’s okay for things to change, it’s okay to have no clue about how you’re going to get through the next week and it’s absolutely okay to just get through one day at a time.
There’s something quite freeing about just taking each day as it comes, something freeing about removing the pressure of having everything perfect all the time and I wouldn’t have learned this lesson if it wasn’t for my boys.
I’m stronger than I think – my boys have taught me what real strength is.
They’ve shown me that even on the hardest, darkest days we still make it to bedtime and we still get up and do it all again the next day.
They have taught me that I can hear the worst news from a medical team and I can still keep it together and get the jobs done that need done. They’ve shown me that real strength is nothing to do with someone’s physical condition but is more about having the courage to face the everyday challenges with a smile.
They’ve shown me that I can face anything because they need me to, I can carry the universe on my shoulders and walk with a smile. They are the reason and without them I would not have the strength I have today.
I’m happier – my boys have definitely made me a happier person.
I laugh every day because it’s the only way to do this life. They make me laugh daily and even on the toughest days I can find one thing to laugh about.
They’ve taught me to see humour in the small everyday things and that is the best way to go through life – laughing until your sides hurt!!
So maybe in a different life I’d have it easier but I don’t think id be fulfilled and I certainly wouldn’t be the person I am today.