Additional Needs
I don’t want the care. I need it.
by Sharon F
on 29th April, 2024
Guilt.
Something I feel at least once every day.
Actually, who am I kidding here... SEVERAL times throughout the day, every day.
I can’t be the only one that goes through the day once my children are in bed thinking “I should have done that” “I maybe over-reacted there” or one of my favourites “I wish I had done more today..”
But guess what, I know for a fact I’m not the only one that does this, it’s not something often talked about but it’s something every mother feels every day.
It’s what makes us good mums believe it or not!
We feel guilt because we care.
There is rarely a day where I don’t think I could have done something different or handled a situation differently or done more.
2 examples from today are:
1. my daughter asked for a plaster because she has a little paper cut on her hand, I had already given her 2 plasters which she had peeled off so I said no, she got really upset.
Why didn’t I just give her another plaster!? A question I’m currently asking myself as I write this and;
2. My son kept asking for me to fly him like a superhero, I had already done it so many times and my back was getting sore so I had to say no and with 2 small children, one of which that can’t sit up or walk, I need my back to be intact so I’m pretty confident that it was the right decision but it won’t stop me feeling guilty about it, he was having so much fun!
This is the point in a blog where you’ll usually read something such as, don’t feel guilty because you’re doing your best and that’s all you can do!
Or, don’t feel so bad. As long as everyone is happy and healthy then that’s all that matters!
Both are true but I’m not going to say that...
Because I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to feel guilt, it helps us.
We learn from our mistakes and as long as you are able to take a deep breath and move on from that guilt at the end of the night to start a fresh day in the morning then you’ll be alright!
Let’s face it, the things we often feel guilty about, our children will never remember!
Just don’t let it get you down, I try to have about 5 minutes once I’ve put my children to bed to look at their monitors allow myself to feel guilty about whatever thing it is that I feel guilty for that day and then move on.
Be assured, it’s normal to feel it but don’t let it take over your life, if you let it consume you then that’s when it really will affect your everyday life and no one should live like that.
Guilt can’t change the past and worry can’t change the future. Have your 5 minutes, tomorrow is a new day.
