Trying to feed the crying baby, entertain the bored toddler, all while trying to give enough attention to the seeking pre-teen.
Whether you see her struggling at the restaurant, baseball game, or shopping mall; I am that sideline mom.
Growing up, I have always been a giver.
That was what I found joy in.
Giving to others whether the gift be tangible or sentimental, seeing the joy brought upon their faces was in return joyful for me.
Being a mother, I am constantly giving.
Even if I fail to see the joy in it 24-7, it does bring me the same happiness.
Alongside that happiness though, is frustration.
Selfishness.
The feeling of, “This isn’t fair.”
If it was appropriate for me to throw myself on the floor and cry sometimes, I would.
My family is a full carload of five people.
My husband and I, our nine year old Aaden, three year old Oliver and ten month old Theodore.
When we go out, we are always in group.
So me being the giver that I am, I always prefer dad to be the one to enjoy the activities with the kids, making the memories, building the relationships (that strong dad and son bond), while I tend to the needs of whichever child is being needy.
Even though I personally choose this (which sidenote, dad is great at offering me to go enjoy the activities while he child sits) I still get a little jealous.
I still get upset that whether it’s dad or me on the sideline, we both can’t enjoy the moment with all the kiddos.
If I chose to let dad take care of the kids while I go enjoy the activities, I still worry about if he is doing this or that the right way.
Thus, I end up choosing to just do the worrying and caring for.
Since Theodore is too young to enjoy most activities like the baseball games, or bowling, I will continue being the sideline mom until all of the kids are old enough.
Until then, if you see that struggling mom like myself on the sideline, just remember that we would very much rather be enjoying the activities like the rest of you all, but the role of a mom will always be needed and demanded.