Lilo and Stitch Will Teach You Everything You Need to Know About Special Needs Family Participation

Why?

Because this film will teach you things. It knows stuff. Big shiny universal-truth type stuff.

It has two quotes in particular that will teach you everything you need to know about Special Needs Family Participation.

“Ohana means family. Family means no one gets left behind.”

​and this…

“This is my family. I found it all on my own. It’s little and broken but still good, yeah, still good.”

Thanks to our Firefly friend, Stacy, for making recommending this movie.

Now excuse me, I seem to have something in my eye…

15 Amazing Things To Do in Your GoTo Seat

There are so many things children with special needs can see and do when using the GoTo Seat.

It’s sometimes hard to know where to start, but, perhaps our handy hints might help you decide – brought to you by our amazing Firefly Friends:

1. Supermarket Shopping….

The GoTo Seat was designed by Firefly and UK charity, Cerebra, to help mums and dads take their little boys and girls to the supermarket.

No need for a separate wheelchair and running the gauntlet at the supermarket.

2. Flirting with Supermarket Attendants…

Check out this photo (above) of Austin on his first GoTo Seat shopping adventure.

We do believe Austin is super cute and deserved a kiss from the supermarket till attendant…

but we would like to think the GoTo Seat had a part to play in this!

3. Dining…

The GoTo Seat gives children a sense of normality sitting in a ‘big boy/girl chair’ and participating with the rest of the family at meal times.

It’s really discreet and does not, ‘scream’, disability in a public dining area like other adapted chairs on the market.

Parents also take it to restaurants as it gives that extra trunk support required to keep your little one up right and eating happily.

4. Chilling out…

The GoTo Seat is ideal for kids just chilling out at home or at a friend’s house.

It is really portable and a really good short term substitute for a special adapted chair if only for 15 – 30 minutes.

5. Playing…

The GoTo Seat is a great way for kids to sit and play with a parent or a sibling at a kitchen table or play bench.

It opens up a whole new world for special needs children.

6. In a Swing at the Park…

The GoTo Seat can be used in different types of swings but mainly a bucket swing.

For many children it allows them to enjoy playing on the swings and playing at the park for the very first time.

7. Rocking Chair…

The sense of security and extra long straps on the GoTo Seat allows it to fit into most chairs.

You can easily put the GoTo Seat in a rocking chair and let your little one enjoy themselves in front of the TV or just relaxing rocking back and forward.

8. On an Airplane…

Although the GoTo Seat has not been approved by all airlines, some parents have used it on flights and have loved it.

Contact your airline before take-off to get approval.

9. In a Motorised Vehicle…

This looks like so much fun we wanted to try it ourselves.

The GoTo Seat does give special needs kids a sense of independence and allows them to do things they typically would not be able to do.

10. In the Shopping Mall Play Carts…

We love this so much as it truly allows for so much independence and normality.

11. On a Beach, Summer Seat or Deck Chair…

Coming into the summer months the GoTo Seat can be used on beach chairs and deck chairs due to the length of the straps.

It means mum and dad can allow children to relax and enjoy their holiday knowing that trunk control and head support is available.

12. Participating at Birthday Parties…

For some parents birthdays are a dreaded time as they feel their child is going to stick out in his or her wheelchair.

The GoTo Seat was a revelation for one of our Firefly friends, Gabriel, as it allowed him to sit and participate like everyone else at a birthday party.

13. In a Retro Wagon…

The GoTo Seat fits neatly in this retro wagon and parents have used it out on family walks and on day trips.

Again, with the GoTo Seat being lightweight and multi functional it can be used almost anywhere.

14. In a Bicycle Cart…

We love the sense of freedom the GoTo Seat allows parents and special needs children to experience, we were amazed to see this as some parents have to exclude their children from participating in bicycle rides, this is amazing!

15. On Holidays…

With summer time coming the possibilities are endless with the Firefly GoTo Seat, it can be used at the beach, in restaurants, in the hotel room, in the caravan or motor home, in bicycle trailors or on go karts.

The Cameron family used their GoTo Seat with Seth on their tour of South East Asia, Australia and New Zealand…

16. Amusement and Arcade Rides…

One of the most fun things for any kid to do is enjoy themselves at the fun fair trying out arcade and amusement rides.

But just don’t take our word for it on how the GoTo Seat is making a massive difference to special needs family participation.

Here are some Independent Reviews of the GoTo Seat – Enjoy!

You can buy the GoTo Seat here.

KaraMelissa // Noah’s Miracle // SarahHalstead // Premmeditations // Adapted World // Tough Little Cookies // Was this in the Plan? // Nurturing Noah’s Noggin

How Do You Deal with People Parking Illegally in Disabled Spaces?

Use spaces farther from the door. They might only be a “few yards away” for you, but a few yards can create a huge problem for some people. Those ones farther back are for people who are more mobile. Use them.

If the only available spots are disabled ones, then the car park is full. Kindly try elsewhere.

“Just unloading” or stopping “just a few minutes”, aren’t excuses either – you wouldn’t inconvenience people by stopping in the middle of the road so don’t do it here.

And if you still park illegally, just pray you don’t run into one of our super mums.

“Ugh. . .I just dealt with this last week.  I took Emmy to a kids drum circle.

The parking was horrible and they only had one disabled spot which was filled with a car parked illegally to unload.

They had their hazards on, so I knew immediately it was not someone disabled.

I pulled right up and waited for them to return.

When they did, I told them I needed the spot and it wasn’t cool for him to have parked there. 

He was very apologetic and said he wasn’t parking there, but just unloading.

I told him it was a major inconvenience and to please reconsider doing that again in the future as it wasn’t fair to my child.

I can only hope he thinks twice before doing so again.”

Dawn Hamilton, Emerson’s mum (www.EmmyIsAStar.blogspot.com)

“Each year I see a growing number of illegal handicapped parking offenders.

These are the cars that do not possess either a hanging handicapped tag or handicapped license plate.

I found these really great parking ticket/reminders from Braun Ability that I use and leave on cars that are illegally parked.

Most families don’t have time to sit there and call the police to ticket and remove someone from a spot.

There are also great app called the parking mobility app, which allows you to take a picture of an offender and send it to local authorities.

That seems to be growing in popularity.”

Stacy Warden, Noah’s mum (www.NoahsMiracle.com)

“If they are in the car I remind them they can’t park there.

If they refuse to move, I take a photo of their car and share it on social networks.

For those not in the car, I leave them a note under their so shield wiper.”

Kara Melissa Sharp, Seb’s mum (www.KaraMelissa.wordpress.com)

“I have been known to leave notes on windshields saying, ‘You shouldn’t be parking in this spot if you do not have a decal.’

But it’s important to remember that you can’t tell by looking whether or not a person is disabled.”

Ellen Seidman, Max’s mum (www.LoveThatMax.com)

“If I catch them I speak to them about it, or I will leave a note on the car. At my kid’s school I spoke to the principal.”

Hayley Young, Henry’s mum

Welcome to Holland

“When you’re going to have a baby, it’s like planning a fabulous vacation trip – to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans.

The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian.

It’s all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go.

Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, “Welcome to Holland.”

“Holland?!?” you say.

“What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy!

I’m supposed to be in Italy. All my life I’ve dreamed of going to Italy.”

But there’s been a change in the flight plan.

They’ve landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven’t taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease.

It’s just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books.

And you must learn a whole new language.

And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It’s just a different place.

It’s slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy.

But after you’ve been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around…. and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills….and Holland has tulips.

Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy… and they’re all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there.

And for the rest of your life, you will say “Yes, that’s where I was supposed to go. That’s what I had planned.”

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away… because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But… if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn’t get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things … about Holland.”

Emily Perl Kingsley

 

Progress on New Supermarket Trolleys for Kids with Disabilities

Supermum Stacie recently hit the airwaves on BBC Radio 4 to raise more awareness.

You can hear the feature here.

It was really nice to see the difference our trolley seat will make to special needs mums and dads in the supermarkets.

So watch this space!

Big thanks to Sainsbury’s for starting to address the issue and helping to promote special needs family participation.

If you would like to know more about Stacie Lewis check out her facebook here.

International Classification of Functioning, Disability and Health for Children and Youth (ICF-CY)

The International Classification of Functioning, Disability and Health for Children and Youth (ICF-CY) is an internationally recognised framework for children and youth derived from the ICF aimed specifically at children and young people up to the age of 17.

It is designed ‘to record the characteristics of the developing child and the influence of its surrounding environment.’ (World Health Organisation, 2007)

This means that health and function are emphasised, and disability or difficulties with function are viewed simply as part of the overall health spectrum.

The focus is balanced between what children and young people are able to do as well as what they have difficulty with.

The overall model is below:

The health conditon is generally considered the child’s diagnosis – this could be ‘asthma’ equally it could be ‘cerebral palsy’.

Body structures and functions relate to the health condition and describe what is wrong with the body. This may be wheezing (for asthma) or high muscle tone (for cerebral palsy).

The body functions and structures affect the child’s activity.

Does the child become short of breath? Can the child rise to stand and walk?

What is the child capable of doing?

Activity impacts on the child’s level of participation in everyday activities such as playing, eating, dressing, cycling, going to the shops, involvement in sports etc.

Alongside these factors is the acknowledgement that the child’s environment and individual personal factors influence their development.

Parents, siblings, motivation, cognitive ability, housing, infrastructure of local health and education services, and access to sports and leisure facilities are a few of the environmental and personal factors that may impact on a child’s development in each area.

MAP – Mobility, Activity and Participation is Firefly’s own framework for understanding how products can help children and disabilities.

With the child, their family and the products at the centre of the model, their developmental progress is influenced by mobility, ability and participation.

For example, by using a product to stretch muscles (body functions and structures in the ICF-CY), we may actually improve mobility which we define as a child being able to access their world and gain as much independence as possible.

And of course, products which move will encourage mobility too!

A product might encourage a child to develop hand function, concentration or communication (activities in the ICF-CY).

We have termed this ability, which we define as improving physical, cognitive and social development.

Similarly to the ICF-CY, we have defined participation as being able to experience as many activities as possible.

Download the full International Classification of Functioning, Disability and Health – Children & Youth Version

Special Needs Parenting: My Letter to a Future Employer

When we talk about ourselves, it’s to discuss our thoughts and feelings about our children, or to share tips or ask this wonderful community for help in overcoming the obstacles our children face.

We talk about siblings and partners and grandparents and friends, all in the context of our beautiful children.

And that’s great, because it demonstrates the depth of our love and care – right?

Whilst all of that is undoubtedly true, and our love and concern for our children knows no bounds, one could argue that this level of focus isn’t always healthy.

If we don’t take time out (like all parents must) for ourselves, for our partners/friends/parents/siblings etc…we will eventually burn out and won’t be any good to anyone.

The trouble is, the special needs of our special children are so pervasive that it’s hard to separate them from any other considerations.

This is my current dilemma.

I have just completed my MBA (hold for applause… thank you!), and it’s time to start thinking about what comes next for me.

Before Charlie was born, I held fairly senior management roles that involved lots of overtime and travel.

DH (Dear Husband) has a similarly demanding position.

With Charlie in the mix, there’s just no way that we can both sustain roles at that level without compromising the quality of her care, which we simply aren’t prepared to do.

My MBA was the middle ground we had been looking for.

I’d been meaning to upskill for years, and study gave me a great opportunity to be there for Charlie and still pursue some goals for myself.

Now that’s over, so…. What comes next?

This is a dilemma faced by most parents of young children.

The choice between working and staying at home, balancing the need to earn an income against the cost of quality child care… this isn’t new.

The difference is that neurotypical children reach an age where they become more independent, where systems like before and after school activity programs start to come into play, allowing us as parents to consider all of our newfound free time and what we’d like to do with it.

Charlie, on the other hand, is not gaining independence.

At least not in any way that would lessen her need for me.

Her physical needs are only increasing as she grows, and she is also outgrowing the child care options that we may have had in the past.

She will go on to ‘big school’ someday soon, but there’ll be no walking to school or to the bus stop for her, and likely no after school activities beyond therapies (for which I must of course be present).

Right now, the jobs I’m applying for are giving me feedback like “you’re overqualified”, or “the employer feels you’ll be looking for something more senior and doesn’t want to invest in a flight risk”.  Ouch.

So… here’s my far-too-honest letter to prospective employers:

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am an MBA graduate with ten years’ sales and marketing management experience looking for a new role.

I have been out of the workforce for six years whilst studying, caring for my young family, and specifically meeting the complex needs of my daughter, who has a life limiting disability.

I realise that the role on offer is perhaps a few steps below my previous positions, but let me assure you that this is a conscious choice on my part and that I don’t intend to ‘leave for something better as soon as I have the chance’.

I will be a valuable asset to your company and am prepared to embark upon a loyal two-way relationship of give and take (assuming that they still exist in the current climate).

What I can offer you:

Long term loyalty, reliability and flexibility, qualifications and experience beyond what is required for the role (or represented in the salary).

What I need from you:

Long term loyalty, reliability and flexibility, understanding and acceptance.

The downside:

There will be hospital and therapy appointments that I need to attend, and it’s possible that I may need extra carers’ leave from time to time.

I may ask for more flexible start and finish times because of child care issues, which are not so simple with a special needs child.

I may even have to leave the office with little notice, but probably no more than any other parent.

The upside:

Aside from my professional skills and experience, my personal circumstances have made me an expert multi tasker, a seasoned negotiator, an assertive advocate, a persistent goal-setter, and given me patience and perseverance beyond that of my younger self.

I am often working and online in the middle of the night and you can be assured that any shortfall in terms of effort or hours will always be made up by me.

I will be appreciative of your flexibility and understanding and you will see that reflected in my output.

…what do you think?

Any takers?

Parents of Kids With Disabilities Fear for Sibling Relationships

The results reflect a desire amongst parents to find new ways of bridging gaps between siblings, bringing them closer together through participation.

Almost half (47%) of parents felt that more opportunities for participation would benefit their children physically, mentally and improve their relationships.

The survey, carried out online, polled over one hundred parents whose child had a disability, with the aim of gauging how families perceive participation in the home and how they would like to change it.

Family days out, playtime and play dates topped the list of activities in which parents wished their child could be more involved.

A huge majority (91%) of parents felt their child was isolated due to their disability.

An incredible 48% stating that their child missed out on something every single day.

These concerning figures demonstrate exactly why ‘special needs family participation’ needs to be addressed.

They show us that parents have pressing worries over their child’s isolation, and remind us that participation and quality of life are an immediate need, rather than something to be aspired to in the future.

Many studies have already shown that participation, play and social engagement can all add significantly to benefits for children with disabilities.

These activities often enhance existing therapy programmes.

Let’s hope that this research can help highlight the importance of family participation and lead to more ways of making it possible.

Around the World with Sebastian: Travelling with a Child with Cerebral Palsy

Sebastian’s first flight was a short jaunt from London to Zurich. From the beginning he was an easy flier.

We wanted to try it out before flying to Cairo but nothing could prepare us for all the doctors on board being summoned to our seats to see if we needed help for Sebastian who sounded like he was having trouble breathing due to his strider and strained cry.

All of this before asking if we needed assistance!

After that first long haul flight there were many more, some on my own.

A mom on her own traveling with an infant always gets plenty of positive attention as the flight attendants were nearby to help as needed.

Of course I was protective and rarely let someone hold him since he needed a bit more support than your typical baby.

Nursing helped stopped a lot of tears and unwanted doctors showing up at our seats during later flights too.

As a baby we used a carrier to travel with Sebastian and thankfully we lived in Cairo for his first two years where a car seat was not required in taxis and when we travelled elsewhere it was by train or plane.

Sebastian’s reflux caused him extreme unhappiness whenever in a car seat since his head control wasn’t strong enough to sit up straight.

This meant he wasn’t ready for a stroller for some time either which made travelling easier, one less piece of equipment to fold and lug aroud.

Though once he was eating solids he needed to be upright and a stroller was used as a stand-in for a high chair since he couldn’t sit up in the simple restaurant highchairs.

We did lose a wheel on his stroller on a flight from Cairo to Dubai once and had to spend a day shopping for a new stroller which was only partially reimbursed.

But one can only argue with Egyptian Air officials for so long.

Fast forward to school age when Sebastian is outgrowing his carrier, stroller, and high chair but still needs support for all daily activities.

Sebastian got his Red Racer just before his 3rd birthday. When we chose the Zippie Iris with tilt we chose a model that would break down (into pieces for easy travel) as well as withstand a rougher terrain.

We wanted to be able to take it hiking as well as into a car and onto a plane.

Our first trip by plane with the Red Racer (that’s what we call Sebastian’s wheelchair) was from Toronto to London, non-stop. I write extensively about our trip here, but will aim to summarize with a few basic tips below.

Travelling with a wheelchair:

1. Break it down as small as possible. Put all of the removable parts into one or two large Ikea shopping bags. This will include footplates, head rest, seat back and bottom. I later learned we could have also removed our wheels, but I don’t think it’s necessary. Take the Ikea bag on board and the flight attendant will store it for you.

2. Fold anything down which doesn’t detach, for us it was the back and handle bars.

3. Lock moveable pieces in place. I used plastic locking strips to hold the back bars from moving from the base of the chair. This did prove to be an issue on landing when the flight attendants had to find something to cut them off due to restrictions for such items like scissors on board.

4. Attach a laminated photo on card stock of your child in the wheelchair with a very short hello message.

This humanizes the chair and reminds those moving it that it is an important piece of equipment which allows the user independence and the ability to do simple activities for daily living.

Two men who transported Sebastian’s chair below the plane thanked me for attaching the note.

5. The chair base will be waiting for you just as a stroller would as soon as you disembark. We chose to be the last off so we had space to put the chair back together as well as remove the car seat from the plane.

6. Car seat: if your child cannot sit up independently as Sebastian cannot, a car seat is a must for the plane.

It must be airline approved and will have a sticker somewhere on it that says so. Airlines do not approve any other seating.

Depending on the airline and the size of the seats it can be very tricky to get in but not impossible!

I recommend bringing a very simple/compact car seat style. Obviously the weight and size of your child will also come into play.

Sebastian still fits in a forward facing car seat.

Many of them hold up to 65/70lbs. Sebastian is nowhere near that. Even at almost 6 years old.

7. Accessories: Bring a small, foldable stroller if your child fits in one for places you may have issues with accessibility.

(We were also travelling with a baby so we could take it on board for her free of charge. Otherwise you check it with your luggage.) This was necessary for us when travelling in London.

When Sebastian was in his wheelchair we needed to take buses everywhere. This added a lot of time to our trips.

For tube and even train travel, we found it easier to bring his stroller, though next time that won’t be an option because he’s grown out of it.

We also have a new hiking carrier ready to try out for really off-road travel. We also bring noise cancelling earphones for underground travel and airplane take off.

Travelling with medicine by plane:

Sebastian also has epilepsy so we need to travel with his regular medication as well as emergency medication should he have a seizure lasting more than 5 minutes.

If you are travelling with any kind of medication, make sure you get a form from the airline for your doctor to fill out which states the needs of your child, including physical, nutritional, and medical.

This will make any accommodation requests possible. It is also wise to have your child’s specialty doctor, such as a neurologist, to draft and sign a letter in regards to travelling with medication, listing each in the letter.

With a major air travel experience under our belt we decided next to go on a road trip into Quebec from Toronto.

This time we also had the added task of making sure there were accommodations for Sebastian’s G-tube along the way as well as fully/partially accessible places to stay, eat, and tour.

We hired a mini-van for the drive and found using the wheelchair was very accessible throughout Quebec.

Though we still used to stroller for hotter, city explorations, the metro in Montreal and around the walled area of Quebec City. When you have wheels, you are always looking for ramps and disappointed to see stairs.

Traveling with a G-tube

1. Contact accommodation to find out if there is a small fridge in the room or if we can have access to the main fridge (such as when staying in a bed and breakfast or guest house versus a hotel).

We also chose to stay in short-term apartment accommodation (Airbnb rentals) and wanted to be able to make dinner or get take out and eat where we were staying.

This made a huge difference in ease of making sure we could prepare Sebastian’s food and formula for eating and for his tube feedings as well as have the ability to clean everything with ease.

2. Have a day pack with everything needed for a meal/tube feed on the go. Including a small jar of dish soap for rinsing feeding bags.

We have cleaned Sebastian’s bag in many restaurants while on the road.

And we’ve also tossed a few without reusing them because it was just easier or more sanitary.

We also have a travel bag with cold packs in it and a thermos for keeping food warm. I purchased a small, plastic, portable food masher to enable us to mash up food when out to eat so he can eat from the menu as well. He had a lot of spaghetti!

3.We haven’t experienced travel by plane with the tube yet so I can’t say but I definitely plan to notify the airline to find out what they allow in regards to liquids, batteries in his pump, etc.

I will get the doctor’s note to cover everything he needs. Just to be safe.

My husband and I are world travellers.

We met on a remote island off Malaysia. We have travelled in many countries and lived in half as many.

We have a strong desire to travel and expose our children to the world and a variety of diverse cultures, places, and experiences. Living abroad is no longer realistic due to Sebastian’s current educational, physical and health needs.

Travelling abroad is complicated. But it is not impossible. We want our son to be a part of the world around him. He can only do that if we take him. And take him, we will.

Next stop: Belfast.