The eldest said to me, won’t eat another thing,

And then he threw a dance,

The same ol’ meltdown tune,

I turned my face away,

And dreamed about school.

 

Well I ain’t the lucky one,

Couldn’t get the number one,

I’ve got a headache,

‘Cos Smyths was like a zoo,

So happy Christmas

I should’ve shopped online,

I can see a calmer time,

When all my shopping’s done.

 

They’ve got lists long as arms,

They think mother spins gold,

But the credit cards declined it’s too late and too cold,

When they first made their lists,

On a cold winters day,

They promised me

No changes were waiting for me.

 

They are handsome

Sometimes petty,

Kings of Lego city,

When mama finished cleaning

They dirtied some more,

Crosby was ah’ dreaming,

While this mammy was singing

She kissed their wee foreheads

Then drank through the night.

 

The boys who have ADHD tire,

While waiting, for the Sleigh

And this mammy’s crying out

For Christmas Day

 

Ye are pups

Ye are scuts

Ye’re full up on junk

Playing there with old toys, hidin’ stuff in the trunk,

Ye rugrats, ye maggots

Can’t ye see mums run ragged

Happy Christmas me arse

I hope that my wine lasts

 

You boys are driving us mad

But we love ye, now go and play

And the bells are ringing out

For Christmas Day.

 

I could have been an aunt,

Well so could anyone,

Those boys came outta me,

I’ve scars to prove it.

Ah god bless them babe,

Can’t believe their our very own,

Cost us a fortune but

I’ve build my dreams around them

 

You boys are energetic and fun,

We love ye, in every way

And you lads are making this

An Awesome Day.