I am me. My name is Rebecca. I am 24. I am a mother, a fiancée, a law graduate, a trainee solicitor, a cat lover, a special needs parent, a twin mum, an avid reader and so much more.
Yet I often feel as though I have lost myself.
Each day is taken up with being someone other than just Rebecca that I often forget the person behind the roles.
In that forgetting of myself, I often forget my life. Not the things I need to do or the responsibilities that I have, but to live my own life and to do things I enjoy.
This includes my love of books, the simple enjoyment I get from curling up with a good book and escaping.
From spending time with my partner, just talking and enjoying each other’s company.
From taking the time to just look after myself.
And that realisation of losing myself in daily life was strange.
In the hectic schedule of parenting and attending appointments and holding down a job, I no longer seem to know what to do when I get some free time to myself.
Not time where I need to tidy up, or do laundry or go food shopping, but actual time to myself where I can choose what I do.
I came to this realisation when spending time with my partner and realising what we speak of 90% of the time is our children or work.
We seem to have forgotten that we have our own interests and hobbies, things we enjoyed doing before having children and before having jobs to hold down.
It was a time we took for granted, when we had few cares and responsibilities.
Yet I realised that this is what we are missing. In our busy and hectic lives, finding time to be yourself is vital.
Mental health is so important that ensuring you take the time for yourself can truly be lifesaving.
The depression and exhaustion of being everyone but yourself ends up a ticking time bomb and stopping that bomb from getting to zero is vital for self-preservation.
Yet the most draining aspects of my life are the ones that bring me the most joy.
The countless appointments for Alfie take up so much time, but as so crucial for his development.
Being a parent is so draining, yet the love and happiness children bring is extraordinarily rewarding.
Finding that balance is the hardest part.
Taking time to work out the line between fulfilling all of your roles whilst also looking after yourself is not easy, but it is so important.
These past few weeks, just taking them time to relax by myself have helped me to feel more like myself than I have in many months.
It has taught me that even 20 minutes a day of allowing myself to do something that is purely for myself is not hard and reaps massive rewards.