Compassion For All

We all fight for compassion for our differently-abled children.

We advocate. We educate. We ask. We suggest. We model. We demand.

But, after all this work, do we give ourselves the same compassion we so desperately desire for our kids?

How often do we show tremendous kindness and patience to others but never extend that same grace to ourselves?

I, for one, am much better about exercising these traits with others than I am at extending them to myself.

I discovered this after a recent counseling visit (we all need a little self-care and introspective work facilitated by a professional every so often-it’s good for our souls) the therapist suggested a book, “The Gifts of Imperfection.”

What in the world?! I am totally not a perfectionist I thought to myself.

You can examine my bathrooms, my car,  and last but not least by desk to come to that conclusion with me.

However, perfectionism is about more than just our external habits.

It has just as much to do with our internal dialogue.

How often I let a mistake of a coworker go by without a hasty judgment but ridicule myself for an errand I forgot to run.

Or, I will offer a patient and understanding ear to a family struggling to meet the needs of their child.

Yet, when I say the wrong thing in a friendship I ruminate over the conversation for days on end berating myself  for a few misplaced words.

I might punish myself through repeated self criticism for how I failed to attend a school function or listen to my child earnestly telling me about his weather project.

Guys, we all need grace and compassion, kindness and patience.

I find that when I treat myself in such a way that practice extends to others in a more authentic way.

Though our children may have visible differences that demand such treatment we, too, require a tender word, a kind embrace from ourselves and to ourselves.

Self-kindness is really a thing.

What would it look like if you practiced compassion with yourself today? It might be that second cup of coffee instead of dusting the coffee table overflowing with baby paraphernalia.

It might be taking myself to a movie or going for a bike ride instead of making a well-balanced dinner.

Whatever it is, treat yourself with kindness today. I know you can do it! After all, I see you practice this each day with your child.

Give yourself the same grace! You are worth it!

Dear Paraprofessional

Dear Paraprofessional,

Thank you for all you do day in and day out.

You are the unsung heroes of our schools. You are the champions of our students.

You are worth so much more than what is reflected on your pay stub.

Those who work with you know you are the heart and soul of the special education programs. Day after day you advocate for our children, treating them with dignity and respect. You show by your interactions with those who are differently-abled that you see no differences.

You see a person who has feelings, thoughts, and personality. We catch you laughing, singing and sometimes even dancing to engage these kiddos.

The eye contact, the meaningful touches, the intelligent conversation you practice tell students and the others nearby that different doesn’t mean less than.

Thank you classroom aides, teacher’s assistants and support staff for tirelessly wiping noses, changing diapers, giving feedings all with a smile on your face.

You may not have the title of classroom teacher but we see the care you provide and the love you give every single day. Thank you for your patience, your energy, your compassion and your enthusiasm.

You are willing to learn new tricks and go with the flow daily.

You give your body in service by repositioning, lifting, carrying, pushing the most vulnerable.

You may not write the goals or the lesson plans, but you are the ones we rely on hour-by-hour to make these goals a reality. If it weren’t for you, the daily walks in the gait trainer wouldn’t happen, legs would not get stronger from standing in the standing frame.

If it weren’t for you, those with mobility delays might not get out of their wheelchair to stretch their legs, those with fine motor delays may not get their clothing fasteners done, and those with speech impairments may never get to practice using the communication device.

You are these kids’ world. Yes, you are seen.

Because of all the hours you spend up close and personal, you are the one who gets the special giggle, the messy hugs and slimy kisses, and the well-earned friendship and trust from some of our most valuable players.

You matter in the life of a child!

As a school-based physical therapist, the paraprofessional oftentimes carries out my physical therapy plan for a student.

Whether it be lifting, transferring, standing or stretching a child, I rely heavily on the classroom staff to implement my therapeutic activities.

Whereas a physical therapist has a student for 30 minutes a week…

A teacher’s aide attends to the student’s needs the entire school day.

Without a para repeating similar tasks as a therapist a child may not make progress toward his goals or, even worse, he may not be able to participate in educational and daily life tasks.

Similarly, a classroom teacher makes lesson plans and educational goals, but without the assistants, growth may not occur. The paraprofessionals are the ones in the trenches: on the playground, in the lunch room, in the bathroom and wherever else the student goes.

Behind the scenes, they make things happen.

Rarely getting the glory, most aides I know love what they do even though it is exhausting and not financially equitable to the work they do.  INVALUABLE best describes their role.

So, the next time you see your child’s or school’s paraprofessional, thank them!

From me, Maria, Haley, Shayne, Felicia, and Kara-you guys are the best!