I smiled, unsure of what I had signed up for.

She asked had I ever done this before, to which I replied once but not as intensive as this course had promised to be.

Over the years I have tried a few things to help myself cope with the stress and anxiety which I have.

People tell me “Don’t forget to make time for you too”; and that is probably the hardest part of my life. Making time for me. Just me.

I wanted to be able to make time for myself and to mind myself but every single time I tried, floods of guilt would open up and ravish through my mind then my body – are the kids being looked after? Did I spend enough of my respite time with them too? Am I selfish?

With the guilt came mind-wondering.

I don’t know about you folks but when I am alone and having time for myself my mind starts reminding me of everything I should have done before I left the house or it reminds me of all the things I have to do after I have had time for myself.

These thoughts can go on and on until they become quite mean Oh you are such a selfish mother! Are you even a real mother if you’ve time to be sitting doing nothing? Oh really, how lazy were you that you didn’t put on that wash before you left, you should have…. Did you even think about Ethan and that tickle cough he has today?

I got tired of this behaviour towards myself. I wondered was there a way in which I could be kinder to me. Yes me. And if there was a way I could have ‘me time’ without all of my usual guilt.

This is what lead me to her.

We sat.  She shared a little about herself with me then asked what I believed “mindfulness” was all about.

The truth was I didn’t really know. I thought it was “hippy dippy” stuff but worth trying all the same.

Eight weeks later with one and a half hour sessions each week; I can tell you what “mindfulness” means to me.

It for me was about calming my mind. Learning how to be in the moment, really be in it by taking a step back and noticing all the wonderful things we are often far too busy to acknowledge or worse, we take for granted. Even a cold drink on a hot day.

I learned how to let my mind go into those awful thoughts I have about Ethan and our life without him; and how to be with such horrible feelings yet I was able to accept them but let them go.

I learned to understand that inner voice which says nasty things to me; I now know that those are fleeting thoughts that carry no weight unless I allow them to.

Why do we speak so unkindly to ourselves?

We would never say even a quarter of what we say to ourselves to the ones we love, or even to strangers.

Why do we allow those thoughts to burrow into our minds?

When we are told to look after ourselves and reminded that if we don’t mind ourselves we can’t care for our children, I don’t think people realise that a spa treatment isn’t the solution; while that’s always welcome.

I think we all need to be saying things like – look after your mind too, your mental health. It doesn’t matter which way you chose to look after your mental health, find something that works for you and stick with it.

It is worth it.

I myself, see a counselor, practice mindfulness and up until a few months ago I was taking medication – my panic attacks were so severe that I believed I was dying.

Today however, I understand that while I will always have stress and anxiety in my life, that they can be managed through mindfulness exercises, by talking and for me personally writing.

There are no cure for mental health issues but there is help.

There are ways to learn to live with mental health issues. We don’t need to be clinging on to the cliffs edge saying “we are coping” while hoping our grip doesn’t loosen.

It’s 2018; there’s nothing wrong with saying, “My mental health wasn’t too good there for a while but I am trying to be in control again,” or, “I am not coping – I need help.”

If there is one thing I would like you, the reader to take away from this, it’s this: Life is beautiful, hard, sad and brilliant – we all take hits but remember we each have a bat too – hit back, smile and do indeed dance in the rain.

I always refer to us as “My big fat Greek family”, we are in each other’s pockets, knowing each other’s business.

We do not go a day without checking in with the granny and all have front doors where there is never a need to knock – we have households where you are not a visitor or guest and you can make your own drink and help yourself to anything in the fridge.

Matriarch Mammar (grandma) – the head of our family and the woman whom without we would not exist.

She provides love, warmth, encouragement, criticism and always makes sure our belly’s are full.

She also as a practising Greek Orthodox Church goer, always makes sure we are anointed with holy oil and have a thousand blessing before leaving her house.

My mama – there is not a fiercer woman I know; witty, humorous, strong willed and the one who no matter how old we all get can still give you the “mum look” to bring you back in check.

My siblings – ranging in age gaps from 18 months to 10 years between one another, we all have our own unique personalities.

We can be best friends or worst enemies at any given point but will all congregate for a lecture off mum and some macaroni cheese when summoned.

Last but not by any means least – My husband, the person who is my best friend; my rock, who gets my quirky strange ways and who wholeheartedly loves, encourages and supports me in anything and everything I want to do……… even knocking down random walls in our house unplanned of a Saturday afternoon!

Who never questions my decisions or if he does question them, will do this with the upmost respect or (more often than not) humour before going along with my original plan!

Who offers pure love and appreciation of everything I do as a wife and mother and will sing my praises to anyone who will listen.

We are also a multiplex family and between us have a handful of children on the SEN spectrum.

We share our experiences and each situation and hardship helps us grow and learn for the next person to be able to make the necessary improvements, so come their turn the process is not as daunting or stressful.

We cry together, share burdens and reassure one another when we are trying to mend a hurting heart.

I think the key to maintaining healthy relationships is love and respect.

We will not all always see eye to eye or even get on all of the time and that’s fine so there also needs to be a lot of acceptance and forgiveness.

We can get through anything if we are as one, work as a collective and instil the values we practice onto our children for the next generation.

Family are those that accept you at your strongest and support you at your weakest.

The ones that you only have to look at them in a certain way and they know that you are struggling and need their love and guidance.

Not everyone is fortunate to have these relationships or family – I am and so grateful!

I like to think of us like Liquorice All Sorts – all a bit different; a few misshapen, or may seem even broken – they are not, they are just a bit different.

That we would go on spontaneous adventures all the time.

That we would be that social media family that is perfect. The reality is completely different!

I now have 4 children who I wouldn’t change for the world but our spontaneous trips and the ease of family life is slightly different.

My son has autism and my daughter has an undiagnosed neurological problem. This causes quite a few issues when it comes trips out.

We generally go to the same places we always go to as we know our son can cope with it.

If we go away we will generally head for animal related places as animals calm him down.

He can not stand being sticky or wet so going out in the rain is a no go unless you want him hitting you the whole time as he can feel every rain drop touching his skin. Going to places with big crowds can overwhelm him but with his ear defenders and his belt that attaches to an adult makes him feel a little more comfortable.

Soft play is a no go unless it is during the quiet period, so when the sun is out and everyone goes outside we head to the soft play as it is empty!

That’s before we get onto my daughter. She is nearly 2 and yet is delayed around a year. A lot of places are going to start charging for her and yet she doesn’t understand anything.

She doesn’t talk and her attention span is non existent.

She also can’t be around people who are ill as the slightest cold makes her extremely ill. When she is having a bad day we generally do not go out, she is too ill and this breaks my heart.

All of this just means we have to be slightly more prepared when going out.

My other 2 children seem to have gotten used to the fact we can’t just go out when they want to.

They have gotten used to the fact that we will get to the zoo before it opens so that we can be the first ones in and be out before the crowds really start. They have gotten used to the fact we always go away to the same places that we know are suitable.

They understand that unlike their friends our day trips are strictly planned and a lot of research is put into them.

Family life is a lot different to how I thought it would be however would I change it? No. I love my children, I love their uniqueness and if this means I can’t have spontaneous trips out that is fine as my family is perfect to me.

In particular, for those of us whose children have additional needs or disabilities, the care and support that our children receive at school is hugely appreciated and makes a world of difference to us and our children.

We see the team that work with our child, we get to know a little about them and their lives; the pressures they are under, the challenges they face.

There aren’t many school teaching staff who can go home at the end of the day and switch off completely.

My wife, Clare, works as a Teaching Assistant at a local primary school.  She supports a couple of children who have some additional needs, ensuring that they are well supported and cared for, that they are able to learn, and that they get the most out of their time at school.

She then returns home to care for our own additional needs child who is Autistic, has Learning Disability, and has Epilepsy.

Like many teaching staff in similar positions, Clare’s roles at school and at home overlap; complementing each other but complicating each other too!

On the plus side, Clare brings huge experience of caring for a child with complex and developing additional needs at home into the school environment, where that experience can be a huge help to the rest of the teaching team as well as the children she supports and their families.

Some of what Clare learns and the experience that she gains at school can be helpful at home too!

One the negative side, caring for children with additional needs at school, as well as at home, means that there is no break, no respite from high intensity care.

No opportunity to unwind after a stressful, sometime really challenging day at school.

24/7 caring can be and is sometimes draining, but Clare keeps going and does her very best both for the children at school and our own additional needs child at home, while also not forgetting our other child.

When there has been a school holiday, or perhaps even a long weekend like the one just gone, the staff room will be full of stories of staff who have been away for exotic trips somewhere, or have enjoyed a spa weekend.

Clare has no stories like that… her stories are of continuing to care for and clean up after our disabled child; sometimes returning to school exhausted after a school holiday rather than refreshed.

Why does she do it?

Because she knows from our own experience how valuable the support given at school to children with additional needs or disabilities, and their families, can be.

We’ve benefitted greatly from the care and support given to our own son over the years.

Clare can give a little back, and so does so to help those families, like ours, that need it most.

So, this Teacher’s Day (and please, let’s extend that to ALL teaching staff and volunteers), let’s celebrate the many caring individuals who do so much to support and nurture our children.

Let’s show them the support, respect, and appreciation that they deserve.

And if one day the member of the school teaching staff that we’re seeing or talking to looks a little frazzled, think about what, or who, they might have left at home to come and care for our children; you might just be talking to someone like Clare.

Happy Teacher’s (and teaching staff and volunteers) Day!

“Is she disabled?”

“She is yeah.”

I replied.

Surprised by how at peace with the whole thing I currently am.

“So, is it autism she has?” asked the man.

“No, she has cerebral palsy” I respond, trying to still sound upbeat.

Whenever I say “she has cerebral palsy” I see the person’s face transform from candid and conversational, to pitying and empathetic.

It’s a natural reaction I suppose, and maybe a reaction I too would have given, had I been that other person but a few years ago.

You know what though?

It’s okay.

Sure, I often wonder how it would be if things were different.

I also wonder how Amy feels about it all; after all, it is her dealing with the diagnosis primarily, not me at all.

I hate the pain she has, I hate the challenges she faces daily.

But my child is not a problem waiting to be fixed – actually, the world is a problem that is waiting to be fixed!

People’s attitudes need fixing, accessibility issues need fixing. My daughter is changing for no one, but the world can.

The person enquires further about the diagnosis.

“Sooo… does she talk?” the person asks.

“No. But she communicates in her own way, and we’ve been trying to help her in every way we can… she does really well to get her message across.”

The person looks deflated. To them, speaking verbally is everything.

But don’t worry – this is where you are wrong.

I’ve said it before and I will say it over and over again – communication is not just verbal. It is body language, facial expressions, sounds, all sorts.

Amy has been lucky enough to get regular sessions using eye gaze technology. We are very early stages at the moment but so far, she has worked out that if she looks at the radio on the screen it will play music. When she looks away, it stops. Genius. Never underestimate the energy and mental concentration this takes. Even for people without visual impairments or compromised motor function – this is tricky and very tiring.

What a legend she is.

“Does she walk?” the person asks nervously (knowing too well that the answer could be a no, and not being prepared for that answer).

“No.” I reply. I explain that one day we hope to use a gait trainer and that Amy can explore her movement more independently.

Right now, a lot of work is being done every day by many people to get her stronger and stronger.

She works hard every day trying to control her movements and to become purposeful with them.

The one that tends to shock people the most is the answer to “does she eat?”.

Nope… tube fed, 24/7.

To make light of the situation I joke about how actually she is one of the only people I know who is on a 100% nutritionally complete diet, getting every vitamin and mineral she needs.

I also joke that she is more efficient than us “oral eaters” who waste time constantly cooking and eating… she has a feeding pump that drip feeds her all day long, leaving her free to focus on bigger and better things.

The response to all of this is, “She will walk one day… She will talk too… I know it”.

I think sometimes people say all of this with a degree of certainty because in their mind, they can’t stand to think that she is suffering or in any way deprived.

It makes us feel better to think that all of those things will one day go away and magically one day she will come running out of the house with fistfuls of sweeties to go and play in the street with her friends.

Sorry to burst your bubble friend, but I don’t think that’s going to happen.

Can we please stop seeing my little girl with her feeding tube, wheelchair, splints and so on and taking pity?

From knowing Amy all of her life, that girl does not feel sorry for herself.

She gets frustrated sometimes by her limitations – but don’t we all?

She has lots of friends who love her and who she loves.

She has a dedicated team working with her every single day to help her achieve her optimum and ensure she experiences as little pain as possible.

I have plenty of days where I dwell and think about what could have been.

I regularly relive her birth in my mind, over and over. I agonise over it a lot.

But that’s me and my baggage… not hers, and not yours.

Every day I am so thankful that she is here.

It upsets me to think that there are people out there who don’t feel she has a quality of life.

But I have given up trying to justify her place on this earth, this place that she fought harder than most of us to secure.

I actually feel sorry for those people, not my daughter.

Because without her I wouldn’t have found a new profound meaning to life, she has validated my existence beyond belief and sometimes I have to remind myself just how far we have all come and just how lucky we are.

There was a time too when I naively thought that all of a sudden speech and mobility would happen.

But eventually we all began to lower our expectations, not in a negative way, but in a way that we could all set achievable goals.

If you had told me this time last year that Amy would be able to use an eye gaze system, or that she could wave to people or high five them… I wouldn’t have believed it.

Not because I don’t believe in her… because I do… but because at that time we were working so hard trying to help her various medical issues and so on.

On the opposite end of the spectrum there are those that use our children’s successes as “Inspiration porn”. By that I mean for example, a picture of a child using a walking frame and smiling is captioned “if he can do it – we all can!”.

This is actually derogatory and degrading. We need to find a balance. We shouldn’t be using the achievements of a person with a disability to give us perspective as in “at least I don’t have it that bad… if he can do that then I can do …. ” and so on.

We all have differences, we all have different flaws, we all have different abilities… some more than others.

The best thing to do is be thrilled are all here together as part of this and work together to build happy lives.

We don’t need a magic wand, we need inclusion, accessibility, acceptance and awareness.

Yes, an MRI scan would tell you that she is severely brain injured – but what it would not tell you is her unique hobbies and interests, her incredible personality, her gorgeous looks and cheeky smile.0

We are not all our diagnoses, we are more than what you see written up on a doctor’s letter.

We don’t all want to be pigeon holed or pitied.

Just a little note to say by the way – this post is written entirely from my own perspective.

I realise of course that I am not the one with the disability, I speak only from encounters I have had with my daughter there, I don’t want people to think I am telling this from my daughter’s viewpoint or talking for her… she may indeed have her own take on it that I am not able to extract!

I am mindful when I write these posts that they could be taken out of context or not received how I intend them.

Personally, I have a few sometimes-debilitating medical issues and I too don’t expect sad faces and empathy, just help when I ask for it and friendship.

The goal of this post is to tell the world that we should celebrate everything we can and live life to the fullest no matter what we have going on.

On this International Day of Families I wanted to share with you all a little bit about my family.

May 15th.

This is three days before my eldest son turns 16 and it will be two days after his big super 16th birthday celebration.

May 15th.

This is also the day allocated to kiddies like my eldest son, it is MPS/ ML Awareness Day.

It’s a day where I am encouraged to tell you all about MPS /ML…

My son, Ethan has MPS type 2 – Hunter Syndrome.

I can tell you all about my darling son; he is a living hero.

He has had more hospital visits, operations and week-long stays than any person I personally know.
He still smiles at the nurses – not so much the doctor’s.
He’s beautiful.
He’s innocent.
He’s pure of heart.
He’s funny.
He’s charming.
He’s full of empathy.
He’s full of devilment.
He’s loud.
He’s a whirlwind.
He’s not able to sit in one place for long.
He’s curious.
He’s nosy.
He’s noisy.
He’s quick to anger but just as quick to laugh.

He’s friendly.
He’s artistic.
He’s a Simpson addict, well he’s a cartoon addict, if I’m honest.
He’s cute; he knows how to make anyone forgive him anything.
He’s a whizz at jigsaws.
He’s the fastest thing on two legs if he thinks you’re chasing him…

Yes; that is my boy Ethan.

Let me now tell you about Hunter Syndrome.
It’s taken Ethan’s ability to run, to play, to draw, to speak, to eat, to walk, to use the toilet unaided, to understand.

Hunter Syndrome is taking everything from my son and leaving a shell of the boy he once was.

I am watching my child disappear right before my eyes.

Every May 15th, for as long as my son has been diagnosed, I have tried to raise awareness.

I’ve talked and written about the signs and symptoms regarding Hunter Syndrome.

I’ve discussed the rarity of the syndrome.

I’ve discussed what it does to my son and other boys like him.

This year I decided to be blunt.

This is about as blunt as I can be.

I think people expect a ray of hope at the end of pieces like this but there isn’t one here, for our family nor for Ethan.

There is no magical cure.

My son could live for another five years or for another five months.

But with each passing month ,the change in him is more complex, more dangerous and takes more of him away from us.

He’s almost 16.

That’s old.

I live in a world where almost 16, is a ‘good age ‘, how messed up is that?

But I have to accept it. I don’t have a choice. I can and do often wish things were different but if I spend my time doing that, I’ll miss the laughs Ethan shares with us.

Hunters takes so much from our family that it forces us to spend time hating it.

What a waste of energy, eh?

Hating something that has ravished your child’s mind and body yet it is so much a part of him.

It’s an emotional rollercoaster.

There are no, “how to” books.

I know without Hunter Syndrome, Ethan would not be Ethan; that’s the struggle I personally have, how can I hate Hunter Syndrome?

There’s a cure around the corner, but my son will never benefit from it.

I don’t know how to feel about that.

A cure.

A real cure .

But my son can’t and won’t have it as the syndrome has already ravished so much that he sometimes forgets who I am.

My son , almost 16 still laughs, still plays and still watches the Simpsons.

This May 15th I will once again try to raise awareness for him and others like him, I will also do my best to help fund the cure but I won’t follow the results too closely as it’s too hard to watch for me and my family.

May 15th is International Day of Families; take a few minutes to think of families like mine who can’t even take the whole family out without planning and replanning due to accessibility (but that’s another post for another day.)

Please learn about Hunter Syndrome as it can occur in any family ,in any part of the world. Wear purple or blue for MPS Awareness Day this May 15th.

Thank you for reading.

Created by the United Nations in 1994, its goal is to promote awareness of the many ever-changing social and economic issues that affects the family unit.

We have four children; two of whom have a variety of special needs-both medical and behavioral.

It’s easy to get caught up in the hectic day to day life that is special needs parenting, but the purpose of International Day of Families is to promote family bonding.

One of the most difficult aspects of being a family with special needs is being able to include everyone in every activity that we do.

The theme of this years’ International Day of Families is “Families and Inclusive Societies”.

Since this is a global day of observance, inclusion may look different from one region to another, and from one family to another.

For us, it means making an honest effort do more things as a family unit.

To a parent of any child with special needs, the holy grail is a society that accepts their child’s differences unconditionally, so I’m kind of thinking we are defeating the purpose by staying home or having one parent go somewhere with a couple of the kids while the other stays home- just because it’s easier.

Sometimes the reasons for staying home are valid, but it’s also easy to fall into the trap of making excuses to justify why we can’t do certain things.

Fear of dealing with meltdowns, having to carry necessary yet cumbersome medical equipment around, or trying to reign in our youngest son, who is very high energy, has no fear of strangers, and has obvious facial differences that tend to get a lot of whispers and stares.

It’s a lot.

When the kids were younger and the medical and behavioral issues in particular were at a peak, I would see social media posts of friends on family outings and vacations and feel so envious that we weren’t able to do those sorts of things; that just wasn’t our reality most of the time. My daughter is on the autism spectrum and has had a revolving door of emotional triggers so taking her anywhere outside the house felt like we were playing Russian Roulette. A lot of the time either my husband or I stayed home with her for her own well-being.  But even now that the kids are older and some of the behavioral issues have subsided, there is still comfort in our safety net of home.

My goal on May 15th is to put the fears and excuses aside and do a local family outing. We may not always be able to pull it together and get out as much as we want; we are definitely a work in progress, yet I am determined to make the effort because I know that it will not only benefit our family but give us the opportunity to educate and promote inclusion for kids like ours.

Whether we choose to go out or stay home there are dozens of ways that we can be intentional in bonding as a family. Here are just some I hope to try in the near future that will ensure that everyone can participate.

We can unplug our electronics and have a game night or watch a movie.

We can find a simple meal that everyone can participate in helping to prepare.

We can attempt a movie at the “dollar” theater- that way if someone doesn’t last the whole movie we are not out a lot of money.

We can go to a local park and take a picnic lunch.

We can go on a short hike locally.

This list will grow, as we find out what works for us and what doesn’t, and I am looking forward to creating more intentional bonding time for our family, one step at a time.

Their schooldays were a difficult time.

In the whole of their time at school there were, hand on heart, only three teachers who truly understood my child, their needs, and how they might, should, be met.

Of these three, one was the parent of a child with a similar diagnosis, and the other two had both previously worked in Special Schools.

Our local Infants School made it quite clear that I had presented them with a problem: a headache that got in the way of their real work – that of providing education.

Junior School is where we encountered the first two of the three enlightened teachers.

Thank goodness – if it were not for them I do not think my child would have remained in Local Authority education (and I am ill-equipped to home-school).

There were, of course, some teachers who tried very hard to support my child and to understand, but who never truly ‘got it’.

At some point along the way there was always a fundamental disconnect.

So often they seemed fixated on getting my child to change to meet the school’s needs, rather than making changes to the way they did things with my child in order to suit their learning profile.

Often my child would be present in a lesson, but de facto excluded from it, because the information was presented in a way, or under conditions, that made it difficult for them to process it.

Because of this, when the time came for Freddie, who has Down’s Syndrome (with associated learning difficulties and developmental delay), to start school I felt physically sick at the thought of sending him, especially once it became clear that, for a variety of reasons, our local mainstream primary schools would struggle to meet his needs and the maximum level of support on offer from the L.A. was inadequate.

The two schools nearest to us made it clear, in not so many words, that they really did not want to have to accommodate him.

Of course, they were legally obliged to, and if I had insisted they would have had no choice.

But in the light of my previous experiences I chose not to.

Instead I enrolled him in a nearby Special School. It had a good reputation, good links to the wider community, and a really nice atmosphere. Happily, it turned out to be a very good decision.

Here was a school that was already equipped to give Freddie all the support he needed without me having to beg or fight the L.A. for it; and whose staff already had a close working relationship with many of the professionals we were involved with. Here was a whole school-full of teachers who ‘got it’.

They don’t see my son as a ‘problem’, but simply as a child to be educated. They don’t view me as an adversary, but as a potential ally with a common aim.

They understand that my child might learn best if taught in a particular way, and are open-minded and creative in coming up with strategies to help him; they see his strengths and teach to them, and know how to utilise them to help with his areas of difficulty.

They understand that behaviour is a form of communication, not a manifestation of a naughty or malicious personality. They take a positive, constructive approach to encouraging ‘good’ or desirable behaviour.

Here are teachers who are both willing and able to support us with things like eating and toileting, issues that many SEND families struggle with, but which teachers are not usually required to get involved in.

Here are teachers who have spent many years teaching children with special needs and disabilities and have acquired a wealth of knowledge and experience in that particular field.

I have taken some flack for my decision to place Freddie in a Special School.

I have been accused of giving up on him, of not wanting the best for him, even of wanting to segregate him from society out of shame.

I won’t tell you what I think of nonsense like that. Instead, I will ask you to consider this:

If you, or a member of your family was ill, and your G.P. could not provide the answers, or the care, or treatment that you needed, you would glad, would you not, if they referred you to a specialist, a doctor with additional training in a particular field, and experience in dealing with the sort of complex and difficult cases that a general practitioner only rarely encounters.

Indeed, you would probably expect them to refer you on, and demand it if they did not do so.

You would not complain that they were giving up on you, or that they did not want the best treatment for you.

You would not accuse them of shovelling you off to hospital in order to hide you away, or segregate you from society.

We do not view specialist doctors and consultants as second best, not quite good enough to make the cut in general medicine.

We see them for what they are – experts in their chosen field.

So why don’t we view specialist educators in the same way?

So, on Teacher’s Day let’s applaud the Special Needs teachers: people who have chosen to enter an arm of the profession that is so often viewed by the public as ‘less than’.

These dedicated professionals work with some of the most vulnerable, complex, and educationally disadvantaged children, and strive to give them the best education possible: one that is appropriate and accessible to each individual pupil, tailored to their needs.

And let’s accord them their proper title: Specialist Teachers.

Post script: One of my older child’s mainstream teachers who had previously worked in a Special School told me that they believed the experience had made them a better teacher.

I think there’s a lesson in that.

All of us go through difficult times and there are occasions when we need additional support.

I feel that society for years expected people to learn to cope with the complexity of a world which can often appear to them as bewildering and irrational as “mental health” was a taboo subject.

I want people to feel comfortable in their skin, to know what they are feeling is common and that even if they are dismissed or overlooked by the strained NHS service that there are other people who will listen, offer a helping hand and direct them in alternate routes to get the right help.

I have first-hand experience with mental health issues with having periodically suffered from anxiety.

I learnt a lot during my own journey, the main thing was accepting that anxiety is a mental health condition and how people who are fully functioning and successful can be effected.

I have an autistic 10-year-old and it’s my journey as a mother that triggered a lot of my darkest thoughts and worries.

I have found that since blogging for FireFly and sharing my blogs on social media, I often receive queries from friends/friends of friends for advice and support and they are always relieved and grateful for someone to interact and confide in.

In some instances, I think they find it easier asking questions to someone unknown to them and outside of the equation.

I understand that getting people to trust and open up to people they don’t know, or similarly to feel comfortable speaking to people who they love is challenging.

What works for one person is not the remedy for another.

I also appreciate that there are people want help but are reluctant to take the advice and recommendations suggested too them and this can be painful when you are trying to support someone you care for.

Emotional wellbeing and mental health in young autistic people is often overlooked as many of their symptoms could appear “typical” of the condition itself.

OCD and depression being other mental health conditions that end up being pushed to one side as people are unaware that they are conditions and that support is available.

I have previously attended parenting seminars to build up my knowledge as well as online learning courses, as now my son will be approaching his teenage years I want to be armed with the best knowledge so I can support and help him understand this challenging time.

I have started laying the foundations and talking about mental health at home; teaching that we can all have thoughts and worries and we need to be open and talk about these, so as a family we can all support each other.  After all; if I don’t know what’s troubling him, I can’t help him.

“mum, can I just say that the reason I love you so much is because you have an answer for everything and you can solve every problem……”

This was a comment out of the blue after tea one evening and not in relation to any type of “talk”, it shows me though that hes understanding in his own what that I can help him.

I won’t always have the answers or solve all his problems, but in order to help his mental health I will use every fibre of my soul.

Mental Health is not something we can “fix” or reduce the numbers.

It’s a fact of our society and we need to embrace this.

I hope people reading this are encouraged not to feel afraid and to confide in somebody.