Language
  • English
  • French
  • German
  • Italian
  • Portuguese
  • Spanish
  • Swedish

Insurance Funding Request

Did you know Firefly products may be funded by your insurance?

Learn More
Back to Firefly Blog

Special Needs Families: Why Don’t You Want Us in Your City?

Special Needs Families: Why Don’t You Want Us in Your City?

We went ice skating at the Cathedral and it was truly magical.

Finding an activity that is accessible to all of us as a family is always a joy, as there are way fewer than we would like.

Being able to take both of my children ice skating was incredible and not something I had envisaged would be so easy.

One had ice skates on, the other wheels!

You see, Hadley has Cerebral Palsy and is a full time wheelchair user.

He was overjoyed at being able to wheel himself around on ‘snow!’

And his twin sister, Erica, could hold on to his wheelchair and feel a bit more stable. Their faces were a pure delight!

The four of us (hubby came too) left the ice feeling suitably worn out and hungry for a nice family lunch with Hadley and Erica’s grandparents who came to watch.

In fact the kids were complaining of being ‘starving’ and ‘needed something right away!’. They are six years old.

So we popped around the corner to a nice cafe and ordered something delicious for all of us. Food was fab, it was busy, but everyone was fed and watered and having a good time.

But here’s where things started to go downhill.

Inevitably we all needed to use the loo after lunch.

It had now been a couple of hours since our arrival in Winchester and almost three hours since we left home.

This of course was pretty easy for most of us (despite the queues as it was a Saturday and very busy everywhere as you would expect).

But Hadley needs a bench and a hoist to use the toilet. Something that is not provided in standard accessible toilets.

Now Winchester has a Changing Places facility, located in the Discovery Centre I believe (and I’m told it is great!).

But that was the other side of town from where we were enjoying the Christmas markets and skating and from where my son’s need for the toilet became urgent.

It was way too far for us to walk in the freezing cold with a little boy who was desperate for the loo and his exhausted sister. And it would have taken even longer in the crowds.

So he had to, ‘go’, in his nappy.

And we had to find a public convenience closer to the Cathedral and lay him on the toilet floor to change him.

It was not a pleasant end to our day - especially not for Hadley, as you can imagine.

Who would be happy about lying on a disgusting toilet floor? And it really hurt my back, lifting him from his wheelchair and back up again.

He’s getting exceptionally heavy. As he should. He’s a growing boy.

But without Changing Places and Space to Change facilities EVERYWHERE, this is what happens to people.

Every single day.

People that others love with all their hearts.

People who endure more than you and I could ever imagine.

People who should be as valued as everyone else.

People who are sometimes some of the most vulnerable in our so called caring society.

They are faced with this danger and indignity all the time.

Whilst clearly we applaud the Discovery Centre for it’s wonderful facility, it was still of no help to us on that day, being located on the other side of the city.

The other issue is, that this Changing Places toilet is only open during the day. After 5pm on a Saturday it is closed.

So does that mean that no severely disabled people are welcome in Winchester in the evenings?

What if we had wanted to stay and see the Christmas lights and have an evening meal as a family.

We did want to do that by the way, but after having to go through yet another change on a toilet floor, Hadley became restless and cold and understandably wanted to go home.

So we left your city where we could have been spending some more of our hard earned cash, went home and watched a movie, gave both of our children a big cuddle and consoled them, telling them we’d see some Christmas lights another time, somewhere else.

I urgently beseech you to install other public Changing Places and Space to Change facilities in and around the city. And to become accessible to all at all times. I also urge you to actively encourage businesses, leisure venues and restaurants etc to install suitable toilet facilities for all of their customers.

There are 11.9 million people in the UK who are registered disabled. Many hundreds of thousands of them have additional toileting needs and require the use of an adult sized changing bench and hoist to use the toilet.

Why would you not want them in your city? They have a disposable income valued at £212 billion!

More important facts:

The Equality Act 2010 states that 'Service providers are required to make reasonable changes – including to the built environment – where a disabled customer or potential customer would otherwise be at a substantial disadvantage.' Surely having to be changed on a dirty toilet floor is a huge disadvantage?

The Equality Act 2010 also requires: 'That service providers think ahead and take steps to address barriers that impede disabled people.' It also says that they 'should not wait until a disabled person experiences difficulties using a service’. 

Well that’s a bit late now isn’t it? 

I did write to a representative at your council almost a year ago to raise my concerns about the lack of facilities in Winchester and never received a reply. I do hope that is not reflective of your future accessibility plans for the city.

I will very much look forward to your response.

Yours sincerely

Sarah Brisdion

Firefly Blog

Real life stories, issues and experiences of day to day life by special needs parents and
healthcare professionals.

Sarah Brisdion

Meet Our Blogger

I am Sarah. Mum to nine-year-old twins, Erica and Hadley. They were born at 27 weeks gestation and as a result, Hadley has Cerebral Palsy - Spastic quadriplegia. We live in the New Forest with our three cats. You'll often hear me ranting about toilets.

View Sarah’s Profile

Become a Firefly Blogger

Would you like to write for Firefly? Join our blogger network of parents, therapists and professionals.

Get In Touch

Become a subscriber today

Join over 40,000 subscribers to our weekly newsletter with insightful articles just when you need them.

Join Mailing List

By using our site you agree to our use of cookies. Click here for more info.

Accept & Close

No Interest if paid in full in 6 months on

Purchases on $99+

US Customers only. Subject to credit approval. See terms below

Paypal Credit

Pay now or pay over time with PayPal Credit. Just use PayPal Credit in PayPal checkout.

Subject to credit approval.

Purchases of $99+:

No Interest if paid in full in 6 months on purchases of $99 or more.

  • A minimum monthly payment is required and may or may not pay off the promotional purchase by the end of the 6 month period.
  • No interest will be charged on the purchase if you pay it off in full within 6 months. If you do not, interest will be charged on the purchase from the purchase date at the Purchase APR applicable to your account.
  • For New Accounts: Variable Purchase APR is 25.49%. The APR is accurate as of 6/1/2018 and will vary with the market based on the Prime Rate (as defined in your credit card agreement). Minimum interest charge is $2.00.
  • Individual items that are less than $99 qualify for special financing when combined for a total of $99 or more in a single transaction.
  • Multiple separate transactions of less than $99 per transaction cannot be combined to meet the minimum purchase amount.

Purchases of $98.99 or less:

Buy now and pay over time with PayPal Credit when you spend $98.99 or less.

  • If you pay your balance in full each month by the payment due date that is on your statement, you can avoid paying interest.
  • Or, make minimum monthly payments, or any additional amount of your choosing, until you've paid off your balance according to your standard account terms. Please note, interest charges may apply.
  • We'll send you email reminders when your payments are due. You can also keep track of your account and view your statements online at any time.

About PayPal Credit

  • PayPal Credit is a reusable credit line available on purchases at thousands of stores that accept PayPal. It's also available for purchases on eBay and exclusively at thousands of other online stores. Plus, it comes with the same security and flexibility you trust from PayPal.
  • If approved, we start you off with a minimum credit line of at least $250. See FAQs for more info.
  • For New Accounts: Variable Purchase APR is 25.49%. The APR is accurate as of 6/1/2018 and will vary with the market based on the Prime Rate (as defined in your credit card agreement). Minimum interest charge is $2.00. See Terms and Conditions tab for more info.
  • If you miss a payment your late fee could be up to $38, even less if it's your first time. See FAQs for more info.

Please wait...