Exercise is a funny old thing, and until having children, I never thought much about it. I could eat what I liked with no worry as I knew I had a good metabolism and would gain little weight.
This was how it had always been, and I didn’t stop and consider that that might change.
Even during my pregnancy, my weight wasn’t my concern.
I ate what I wanted and focused on making sure I ate enough- with having severe morning sickness throughout my entire pregnancy, the most important thing to me was that I ate and helped my babies to gain weight.
Everyone kept telling me I would lose it all once I gave birth, especially considering I was feeding twins.
But I didn’t. I lost weight but since then, I haven’t been happy with my body.
I haven’t liked the way my skin sags and I have stretch marks all over. I hate the way I can’t fit in to the clothes I wore pre-pregnancy and have had to buy a whole new wardrobe. But the thing I hate most is that my body doesn’t function in the way it used to.
I have to watch what I eat and exercise regularly to just stay the weight I am, let alone try to lose weight.
For months this has upset and frustrated me.
As someone who has never been concerned with their size and shape, I have become a person I don’t recognise and a person I don’t want to be.
So, I decided to make a change.
I started to exercise and bizarrely found myself enjoying it.
Not only has it helped me to get it shape, which in turn has increased the fun and games I have with my children, it has improved my mental health beyond measure.
I have learnt to appreciate my body and to listen to it.
To be grateful for my stretch marks as they are evidence of how my body grew to support two humans; to accept that though my body is not as it once was, it has done an amazing thing and I should be proud of it.
Though I still have a long way to go in terms of getting into shape, I am taking my time and being gentle to myself.
I still have days where exercise is the last thing I want to do and I still eat takeaways and junk food if I want to, but I do it in moderation.
I am not focusing on the negatives but am looking at the positives.
No, I haven’t lost the weight I’d like to have lost yet, but my body is stronger, and I am happier.
I can see my goal and know that if I continue I can reach my goal.