On New Year’s Day as my partner and I unwrapped birthday gifts and enjoyed our son’s second birthday celebrations, I couldn’t help but ponder how differently our lives almost were two years ago as he clung onto life by a thread.
Joseph was born on New Year’s Day 2019 in very poor condition.
During labour he sustained a grade 3 Hypoxic brain injury, causing multiple complications and disabilities.
When he was born I remember being absolutely desperate for answers, for any scrap of information that medical professionals could give that would indicate what Joseph’s future would look like.
Much to my frustration the only answer they were ever able to give us was ‘we have to wait and see’.
It felt like torture, like his future - our future was hanging in the balance.
I have never experienced such profound feelings of helplessness and lack of control over a situation.
I would sit and wish that I had a crystal ball so I could see how things would pan out.
We did everything we could to remain positive and hopeful for Joseph and threw ourselves into enjoying everything we could.
I could not have done so without the support of my partner Barrie, who was and still is my rock through it all.
I also couldn’t have had the strength and resilience during that time without the love and help from our family, friends and the huge team of medical professionals that have become so embedded in the fabric of our lives that I can barely remember a time without them all.
Over the last two years Joseph has surprised and amazed us time and time again.
He is now doing things that we never knew if he ever would.
Each time I see my miracle boy learn something new or meet another milestone, my heart soars and the pride and gratitude I feel reminds me why we’re not supposed to see into the future.
If I could have seen what was to come, it may have saved me some sleepless nights, endless worry, grey hairs and frown lines but it wouldn’t have been anywhere near as special.
We still very much live with the ‘wait and see’ but what I have learned in the last two years is that whatever happens or doesn’t happen, we can handle it together as a family.
I’ve learned that I don’t need to know everything that’s around the corner.
I’ve learned that I am strong enough to handle curveballs.
I’ve learned to love each new thing, no matter how small.
I’ve learned to cherish those little things that others so often take for granted.
I’ve been given new eyes with which to see.
I feel incredibly lucky to have my son, because on New Year’s Day 2019, a miracle happened and he was given a second chance at life.