Language
  • English
  • French
  • German
  • Italian
  • Portuguese
  • Spanish
  • Swedish

Insurance Funding Request

Did you know Firefly products may be funded by your insurance?

Learn More
Back to Firefly Blog

It Can’t Just Be Me… Can It?

It Can’t Just Be Me… Can It?

Medical issues and disabilities aside, Sam is a happy 6 year old.

But there is always a gnawing sadness deep in the pit of my stomach that he will always be an only child.

As a society we don’t talk about fertility issues nearly as much as we should.

I have known friends struggle through infertility; whether conceiving is problematic, of whether carrying a pregnancy proves to be unattainable.

I’ve cried with friends who have lost yet another pregnancy, and been there as they talked about how desperately they want to be a Mum.

Or Dad.

It works both ways.

I’ve seen SN friends fall pregnant and go through a very difficult 9 months with additional tests, fear and all the worries a complex condition in the family brings.

The joy when a child who safely arrives is palpable - even through a computer screen!

But it isn’t always a happy ending.

SN parents have seen the dark side of parenthood, and on occasion it waves back.

For us, falling pregnant wasn’t an issue.

I still vividly remember every second of miscarriage too.

The fear that then crept into the next pregnancy that history would repeat.

We now have our little boy and he is nothing short of a miracle and more important to us than oxygen.

Even with all his issues there is so much to be happy and thankful for.

For us, not having more children was a difficult decision we actively made, rather than the choice being made for us; Sam is awesome but we are not any closer to understanding what actually caused his problems.

Sure, we know the physical issue is that his brain didn’t form.

But the, "Why"? That’s a different matter.

Pregnancy for me was brutal, leaving me with more than a few long-term issues.

While I would love another child, there are serious risks to my physical (and mental) health that we can’t ignore.

And with a medically complex child already who needs both parents’ full attention to meet his needs, we decided it wasn’t a risk that was worth taking.

Many of our friends in the SN community have had more children, but for us this was the right decision.

It’s a kind of self-imposed infertility.

And while the decision has been made it doesn’t stop the sadness from bubbling up occasionally, when someone announces a pregnancy for example.

I’m not broody in any way but I feel that my boy is missing out somehow.

And while I am more than grateful for everything we have, the knowledge that I will never again bring another life into this world will be one of the greatest sadnesses of my life.

Firefly Blog

Real life stories, issues and experiences of day to day life by special needs parents and
healthcare professionals.

Carolyn Voisey

Meet Our Blogger

Mum to one incredible little dude, I work full time in higher education and have my own small business as a jewellery designer/creator. I love nothing more than having time with my family, being outside and with my animals (chickens, cats, dog..!).

View Carolyn’s Profile

Become a Firefly Blogger

Would you like to write for Firefly? Join our blogger network of parents, therapists and professionals.

Get In Touch

Become a subscriber today

Join over 40,000 subscribers to our weekly newsletter with insightful articles just when you need them.

Join Mailing List

By using our site you agree to our use of cookies. Click here for more info.

Accept & Close

No Interest if paid in full in 6 months on

Purchases on $99+

US Customers only. Subject to credit approval. See terms below

Paypal Credit

Pay now or pay over time with PayPal Credit. Just use PayPal Credit in PayPal checkout.

Subject to credit approval.

Purchases of $99+:

No Interest if paid in full in 6 months on purchases of $99 or more.

  • A minimum monthly payment is required and may or may not pay off the promotional purchase by the end of the 6 month period.
  • No interest will be charged on the purchase if you pay it off in full within 6 months. If you do not, interest will be charged on the purchase from the purchase date at the Purchase APR applicable to your account.
  • For New Accounts: Variable Purchase APR is 25.49%. The APR is accurate as of 6/1/2018 and will vary with the market based on the Prime Rate (as defined in your credit card agreement). Minimum interest charge is $2.00.
  • Individual items that are less than $99 qualify for special financing when combined for a total of $99 or more in a single transaction.
  • Multiple separate transactions of less than $99 per transaction cannot be combined to meet the minimum purchase amount.

Purchases of $98.99 or less:

Buy now and pay over time with PayPal Credit when you spend $98.99 or less.

  • If you pay your balance in full each month by the payment due date that is on your statement, you can avoid paying interest.
  • Or, make minimum monthly payments, or any additional amount of your choosing, until you've paid off your balance according to your standard account terms. Please note, interest charges may apply.
  • We'll send you email reminders when your payments are due. You can also keep track of your account and view your statements online at any time.

About PayPal Credit

  • PayPal Credit is a reusable credit line available on purchases at thousands of stores that accept PayPal. It's also available for purchases on eBay and exclusively at thousands of other online stores. Plus, it comes with the same security and flexibility you trust from PayPal.
  • If approved, we start you off with a minimum credit line of at least $250. See FAQs for more info.
  • For New Accounts: Variable Purchase APR is 25.49%. The APR is accurate as of 6/1/2018 and will vary with the market based on the Prime Rate (as defined in your credit card agreement). Minimum interest charge is $2.00. See Terms and Conditions tab for more info.
  • If you miss a payment your late fee could be up to $38, even less if it's your first time. See FAQs for more info.

Please wait...