• English
  • French
  • German
  • Italian
  • Portuguese
  • Spanish
  • Swedish

Insurance Funding Request

Did you know Firefly products may be funded by your insurance?

Learn More
Back to Firefly Blog

“Do you think you’ll have another?”

“Do you think you’ll have another?”

Well…..that was the question that caught me off guard a little! It first came with a nod to Heidi, when she was about 6 months, and more recently as I was chatting about her (now 4) and her additional needs.

Did I think we would have another baby?

I know people ask these things with genuine interest / care (most of the time!), but I do think there needs to be a little caution as you never really know the circumstances a family may be going through.

My honest answer was “I don’t know” but it’s something I have pondered long and hard over, on many occasions.

When I was younger, I wanted to grow up, get married and have 2 children.

As I got older, I realised that life is rarely that straight forward.

I was in my late thirties when I met my now husband Steve, was very fortunate to fall pregnant quickly when we decided we wanted family, even though I was classed as a “geriatric first-time mum” (ouch!), and counted my blessings every day of my healthy pregnancy.

When Heidi was taken so poorly just after she was born, our world was tipped upside down.

My ideas of how having a baby would be were nothing like our reality, but we did what we needed to do to get through each hour, day and month.

Once we were home and settled, I kind of thought about having another baby, and really thought it would be a good idea.

I think part of that was so that I could have the “normal” experience of having a baby – I hope that doesn’t sound selfish. I love Heidi, lots, but her start in life had been tough on us all and I thought having another would help ease some of the pain.

I also thought that adding to our team, with a sibling, would be great for Heidi too – she would have her own little buddy, who would be around longer than us (I do worry about when we’re not here, but that’s a whole other blog!).

But that in turn made me think about how that second child would feel – they might see things that would be upsetting, might feel left out as Heidi needs so much of our attention, may resent us as parents.

I’ve seen other families though and the siblings are some of the most well-balanced, loving, caring little people you could wish to meet, so that dispelled my theory.

Of course having a baby requires a certain, ahem, things to happen – and without wanting to speak on behalf of other SN parents, quality alone time can be rare.

Our lives are busy with everything Heidi-related, and at the point she is settled and asleep, I’m either busy sorting out the meds, feeds, clothes, appointments etc. for the following day, or wanting to get some sleep myself (or occasionally writing a blog!).

Add in to the mix having a carer 2 nights a week, and any form of romance is way down the list.

I also joke about being too old and fat to have another baby – I feel like I have aged so much since having Heidi, and have certainly put the whole exercise regime I used to love so much on the back-burner, but then I also remember how I already cope with a lack of sleep, so would having extra company on the night-shift be so hard?

We had, at one stage last year, seriously talked about fostering.

It’s something we would love to do but the commitment is just too big at the mo; foster families have to have regular meetings (totally understand why), and can face their own challenges, we just didn’t think it would be fair on anyone – plus I have no idea how to look after “typical” babies, give me a feeding tube or trachi and I’m fine! - maybe we’ll come back to in the future.

Hats off to those who do it, what a gift.

So, for now, we’ll let fate decide, happy as our team of 3.

My answer remains as “I don’t know”.

Much safer to ask if you think we’ll get a dog, you’ll likely get a resounding “yes” (from me at least!).

Firefly Blog

Real life stories, issues and experiences of day to day life by special needs parents and
healthcare professionals.

Sarah Kay

Meet Our Blogger

An honest (and hopefully positive!) chat through the rollercoaster journey we have found ourselves on; hopefully to raise awareness of HIE and support others who may be on their own journey.

View Sarah’s Profile

Become a Firefly Blogger

Would you like to write for Firefly? Join our blogger network of parents, therapists and professionals.

Get In Touch

Become a subscriber today

Join over 40,000 subscribers to our weekly newsletter with insightful articles just when you need them.

Join Mailing List

By using our site you agree to our use of cookies. Click here for more info.

Accept & Close

No Interest if paid in full in 6 months on

Purchases on $99+

US Customers only. Subject to credit approval. See terms below

Paypal Credit

Pay now or pay over time with PayPal Credit. Just use PayPal Credit in PayPal checkout.

Subject to credit approval.

Purchases of $99+:

No Interest if paid in full in 6 months on purchases of $99 or more.

  • A minimum monthly payment is required and may or may not pay off the promotional purchase by the end of the 6 month period.
  • No interest will be charged on the purchase if you pay it off in full within 6 months. If you do not, interest will be charged on the purchase from the purchase date at the Purchase APR applicable to your account.
  • For New Accounts: Variable Purchase APR is 25.49%. The APR is accurate as of 6/1/2018 and will vary with the market based on the Prime Rate (as defined in your credit card agreement). Minimum interest charge is $2.00.
  • Individual items that are less than $99 qualify for special financing when combined for a total of $99 or more in a single transaction.
  • Multiple separate transactions of less than $99 per transaction cannot be combined to meet the minimum purchase amount.

Purchases of $98.99 or less:

Buy now and pay over time with PayPal Credit when you spend $98.99 or less.

  • If you pay your balance in full each month by the payment due date that is on your statement, you can avoid paying interest.
  • Or, make minimum monthly payments, or any additional amount of your choosing, until you've paid off your balance according to your standard account terms. Please note, interest charges may apply.
  • We'll send you email reminders when your payments are due. You can also keep track of your account and view your statements online at any time.

About PayPal Credit

  • PayPal Credit is a reusable credit line available on purchases at thousands of stores that accept PayPal. It's also available for purchases on eBay and exclusively at thousands of other online stores. Plus, it comes with the same security and flexibility you trust from PayPal.
  • If approved, we start you off with a minimum credit line of at least $250. See FAQs for more info.
  • For New Accounts: Variable Purchase APR is 25.49%. The APR is accurate as of 6/1/2018 and will vary with the market based on the Prime Rate (as defined in your credit card agreement). Minimum interest charge is $2.00. See Terms and Conditions tab for more info.
  • If you miss a payment your late fee could be up to $38, even less if it's your first time. See FAQs for more info.

Please wait...