At what point does your role change from mum to carer? When does that start? When your child is born? When they are diagnosed? When their condition starts to seem to get worse and you have to leave your job…
If you’re looking for an answer, then unfortunately I can’t give it as it’s something I’m wondering and searching for the answer myself. It seems strange to say you’re a carer when it’s your own child isn’t it? I mean, you would care for your child with or without disability so what makes me so special that I have to be classed as something other than a mum!
My son is 4 now and I still become really awkward and a bit nervous (for some reason, as if people will judge me!?) when I have to say that I’m “classed as a carer for my own child”.
I have 2 children, so it seems even harder to say that when I love them and care for them both equally - although admittedly I do probably spend slightly more time on my son who has quadriplegic cerebral palsy but not because I love him anymore, because he needs it. Hang on.. I think I’ve just found my answer...
They need us - more!
We are called carers because yes, although we are still mums and would do anything for our children no matter what, we do MORE for our children because they have more needs. They need us to be their voice sometimes, to know exactly how they are feeling and how to react when something doesn’t go right for them, they need us to administer medicine, to organise and arrange appointments, to be on guard for any sudden changes, to even be their legs!
You’re still a mum, but by saying you’re a carer too it can open up opportunities for help. We aren’t superhero’s, we weren’t “chosen because we are special and patient people” we aren’t better than anyone else, but we do everything we can to ensure our children are happy and cared for.
That’s why we are carers.