• English
  • French
  • German
  • Italian
  • Portuguese
  • Spanish
  • Swedish
Back to Firefly Blog

Things They Don’t Tell Us

Things They Don’t Tell Us

You have a natural birth, you have a c-section, you adopt...

No matter how your little bundle of joy comes into your life there’s one thing no one tells you about. What to do when they don’t reach their milestones.

In fact, if you just google “baby milestones” things that come up will be information like your baby will respond to sounds by the time they are just one month old, by just four months old your baby will hold their head up steadily and make sounds, by 5 months old your baby will be able to roll from their tummy to their back, by 8 months old your baby will be able to sit up on their own and by 9 months old your baby will be able to pull themselves into standing and sitting positions.

Perhaps your baby has reached all their milestones and really “most” babies will, but can you imagine the feeling of a parent when their child doesn’t do these things.

The first thing you do as a parent when they don’t reach their milestones is research online about what age they should be doing certain things and as a parent of a child who didn’t reach their milestones, I can honestly tell you that the feeling you get is complete heartache and pure worry.

Everyone told me that my child would be sitting up and grabbing toys... why isn’t he?

Then of course comes the guilt of “what did I do wrong?”

First of all, I hate these expectations of what a child should be doing at what ages - my daughter with no disabilities was late at sitting up and didn’t walk until she was around 17 months old which is considered late (apparently!) and I remember that was a worry as a new mum. But when my son couldn’t even grab his toys never mind sit up by the time he was 9 months, I had a horrible feeling in my tummy. I didn’t know who to talk to or what I should have been doing.

So why isn’t this something that is spoken about?

Did you know that around 1 in 20 children have some form of disability? Surely that’s enough for it to be spoken about when having a child, but it seems that it’s not. I understand not wanting to worry new parent unnecessarily but maybe if it is something that could be discussed on what to do or who to contact when your baby doesn’t reach these milestones then it could take the worry away even just a little bit.

Parents need to be reassured not to panic and told that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with their child if they don’t reach their milestones but there’s help out there if they need it! But we could be given information on what to do if our children aren’t doing certain things by a certain age. I know if I had been told what to do then I would have steered myself away from the internet which either basically tells you that you’re doing something wrong or your baby isn’t normal, it’s heart-breaking!

My son was over a year old when we finally found out that he had cerebral palsy and given help with different therapies to help him but maybe I would have found help sooner had I known what to do rather than worry alone at home.

This is why it’s so important to know that there is help out there, it’s nothing you have done wrong and you can get help.

Firefly Blog

Real life stories, issues and experiences of day to day life by special needs parents and
healthcare professionals.

Amy Sweeney

Meet Our Blogger

My name is Amy and I’m mum to Wilson aged 3 and Ava aged 4. Wilson has cerebral palsy affecting all 4 limbs along with CVI but it doesn’t let it stop him! He loves playing with his big sister.

View Amy’s Profile

Become a Firefly Blogger

Would you like to write for Firefly? Join our blogger network of parents, therapists and professionals.

Get In Touch

Become a subscriber today

Join over 40,000 subscribers to our weekly newsletter with insightful articles just when you need them.

Join Mailing List

By using our site you agree to our use of cookies. Click here for more info.

Accept & Close

No Interest if paid in full in 4 months on

Purchases on £99+

UK Customers only. Subject to credit approval. See terms below

Paypal Credit

Pay now or pay over time with PayPal Credit. Just use PayPal Credit in PayPal checkout.

Subject to credit approval.

Purchases of £99+:

No Interest if paid in full in 4 months on purchases of £99 or more.

  • A minimum monthly payment is required and may or may not pay off the promotional purchase by the end of the 4-month period.
  • No interest will be charged on the purchase if you pay it off in full within 4 months. If you do not, interest will be charged on the purchase from the purchase date at the Purchase APR applicable to your account.
  • Any remaining balance due after the 4-month promotional period or any transactions under £99 will be charged interest at 19.9% p.a. (variable).

Purchases of £98.99 or less:

Buy now and pay over time with PayPal Credit when you spend £98.99 or less.

  • If you pay your balance in full each month by the payment due date that is on your statement, you can avoid paying interest.
  • Or, make minimum monthly payments, or any additional amount of your choosing, until you've paid off your balance according to your standard account terms. Please note, interest charges may apply.
  • We'll send you email reminders when your payments are due. You can also keep track of your account and view your statements online at any time.

About PayPal Credit

  • PayPal Credit is a reusable credit line available on purchases at thousands of stores that accept PayPal. It's also available for purchases on eBay and exclusively at thousands of other online stores. Plus, it comes with the same security and flexibility you trust from PayPal.
  • In order to maintain the 0% offer, you need to keep up monthly repayments and stay within your credit limit. Credit subject to status. Terms and conditions apply. UK residents only.

Please wait...