Right now, everything seems overwhelming. Society is at a standstill and it feels as though there is no end in sight. It is a situation no one ever expected, yet one we are in. Something I was not ready for was the stress of having to work from home as much as possible in order to care for my children.
The two worlds just do not combine in any way, shape or form.
Within a day I felt I was failing on all fronts but tried to carry on. I so desperately wanted to be able to continue my job as it is a job I love, whilst caring for my children at such an awful and difficult time. Then I saw a post about making small changes rather than trying to change everything at once. The idea was that if you wanted to re-decorate your entire house, you wouldn’t expect to get it all done in one day, you’d take it room by room, step by step. The situation I found myself in was no different and so this is what I needed to do.
I cannot manage a full-time job whilst also caring for my children, one of whom has complex medical needs, full time. I also cannot make a schedule for each day of activities and expect to stick to it to try to teach them everything they are missing out on at nursery, whilst ensuring Alfie’s additional needs are all being met. I am only one person, and most certainly did not choose a career in teaching.
So, I stopped. I stopped putting pressure on myself to work constantly and stopped trying to do activities all day at the same time as working. I am just playing with them and let them choose the activity as that is what they need right now when everything else is out of our control. Yet I’ve started to include certain, small things, each day. Such as counting with Rory or helping Alfie to learn to use his communication buttons more.
I took a step back just to breathe and gather myself before I broke, and I realised how close to breaking I was.
We can’t do everything. There is a reason why children go to nursery and school to learn, rather than parents being the ones to teach them. There is a reason I picked the career I have. I cannot do both all of the time, and that is okay.
Everyone just needs to remember to take things in smaller steps instead of setting goals that are unachievable and ultimately do more harm than good.