• English
  • French
  • German
  • Italian
  • Portuguese
  • Spanish
  • Swedish
Back to Firefly Blog

Special Needs Siblings

Special Needs Siblings

Recently I have been struggling, how can I give each of my children their fair share of attention?

How can I show each of them they are just as loved and cherished as their siblings?

I spend so much time with my baby’s physiotherapy, going to hospital appointments, trying out new equipment to make my baby's life easier.

I cheer at her inch stones and cheer her on as she struggles through life. I feel bad as sometimes when I am struggling to feed her, struggling to dress her, doing her exercises, I have to tell the older children to wait.

Sometimes due to so much going on I completely forget I have told them to wait and I never do see what they can now do on their bike.

I look at my boy and his autism and realise how much of our day is focused on making sure his routine is the same or that he feels comfortable.

I see that when he is having a violent meltdown my daughter must take her brother away to a different room so that they don’t get hurt, or they don’t get scared.

I realise that we get sensory equipment for him that no one can touch as it’s his calm down equipment yet the other children don’t get anything.

I look at my other children.

I feel sorry that even their birthdays aren’t all about them as we still have to do exercises on our baby, as we still have to do some sort of routine otherwise we will have to face a meltdown.

I look at them and realise the struggle they must go through every day, knowing that their siblings need this extra attention, but not truly understanding why they don’t get it.

I still remember vividly my daughter crying and saying, ‘Why can’t I have a normal brother?!’

This broke my heart -  I felt like I have failed not only her but also her brother.

I make sure bedtimes we spend time one to one, where each child can tell me about their day, where they can show me what they made, where we can just snuggle on the sofa doing nothing but watching cartoons, if that’s all they want to do.

I tell them when I tuck them in at night how special they all are.

I just never realised how hard it is not only for us parents but also to the siblings living with a special needs child.

At the moment I am trying to make them know they are all equally as loved by me and my husband, and that if they ever need me I will be there for them in a heartbeat.

Firefly Blog

Real life stories, issues and experiences of day to day life by special needs parents and
healthcare professionals.

Rebecca Shayler-Adams

Meet Our Blogger

We are just a typical family muddling along our day to day lives. 4 kids, 1 with autism, 1 with an unknown neuromuscular condition

View Rebecca’s Profile

Become a Firefly Blogger

Would you like to write for Firefly? Join our blogger network of parents, therapists and professionals.

Get In Touch

Become a subscriber today

Join over 40,000 subscribers to our weekly newsletter with insightful articles just when you need them.

Join Mailing List

By using our site you agree to our use of cookies. Click here for more info.

Accept & Close

No Interest if paid in full in 4 months on

Purchases on £99+

UK Customers only. Subject to credit approval. See terms below

Paypal Credit

Pay now or pay over time with PayPal Credit. Just use PayPal Credit in PayPal checkout.

Subject to credit approval.

Purchases of £99+:

No Interest if paid in full in 4 months on purchases of £99 or more.

  • A minimum monthly payment is required and may or may not pay off the promotional purchase by the end of the 4-month period.
  • No interest will be charged on the purchase if you pay it off in full within 4 months. If you do not, interest will be charged on the purchase from the purchase date at the Purchase APR applicable to your account.
  • Any remaining balance due after the 4-month promotional period or any transactions under £99 will be charged interest at 19.9% p.a. (variable).

Purchases of £98.99 or less:

Buy now and pay over time with PayPal Credit when you spend £98.99 or less.

  • If you pay your balance in full each month by the payment due date that is on your statement, you can avoid paying interest.
  • Or, make minimum monthly payments, or any additional amount of your choosing, until you've paid off your balance according to your standard account terms. Please note, interest charges may apply.
  • We'll send you email reminders when your payments are due. You can also keep track of your account and view your statements online at any time.

About PayPal Credit

  • PayPal Credit is a reusable credit line available on purchases at thousands of stores that accept PayPal. It's also available for purchases on eBay and exclusively at thousands of other online stores. Plus, it comes with the same security and flexibility you trust from PayPal.
  • In order to maintain the 0% offer, you need to keep up monthly repayments and stay within your credit limit. Credit subject to status. Terms and conditions apply. UK residents only.

Please wait...