I am NOT glad my son is disabled.
That would be ludicrous!
If I could take away all the pain and fear, anxieties and outside ignorance then I would in a heartbeat!
But that is not possible so instead I look to the positive.
I'm not the mother I envisaged I would be, I thought I would be spontaneous, cool (hopefully I'm still a little of that, possibly) whizzing my children off here and there for new adventures.
I still take my children on adventures but with routine in tow.
But this old vision was from the young, pre children version of me, before I knew my path was going to be a whirlwind of bumps and cuddles.
I like the mother I've become more than the one I thought I was going to be.
I've discovered patience I never knew I had.
I've learnt to see beauty in things I may previously overlooked.
I have empathy flowing from every pore because I now 'get it!'
I really really get what people are feeling because the chances are, I've felt that too at some point.
I now don't care for the perfect ideal, instead the real!
But even more than that, even bigger than the changes in myself.
My typical children are growing up seeing a disabled person not as a disabled person but as a person.
They will have watched their parents deal with more than possible at times yet stand together.
Witnessed as a person falls to their knees exhausted with carrying a heavy load, instead of walking past with eyes to the ground, we hold out our hand, let them lean on us until they can stand then walk together.
This little lad that came into our lives 9 1/2 years ago and turned our everything not just inside out but up, down, spinning in circles and zig zagging off to crazy land.
He's been a beautiful blessing.
He has no verbal voice but teaches things of such value.
He has a vision impairment but sees the beauty in the mad world we live in.
When caring for a disabled child it's all consuming so it can feel impossible at times to look beyond what we have to do everyday.
It's easy to get lost in the mass of hospital appointments, meltdowns, medical care and ridged routine.
Yet in between every rocky mountain is a breathtaking ravine.