Language
  • English
  • French
  • German
  • Italian
  • Portuguese
  • Spanish
  • Swedish
Back to Firefly Blog

No new years resolutions

No new years resolutions

I’m probably in the minority of people that did not make any resolutions at New Years.

Instead, I made decisions instead that were based on the ‘annus horribilis’ I had.

I had high hopes for last year, as I’m sure almost everyone does when celebrating the start of a brand-new year.

Sometimes it doesn’t go to plan. Sometimes a year can test your inner strength to it’s limits.

In the first couple of months of 2019 I found a breast lump which then led to weeks of scans, tests, hospital visits and extreme panic and anxiety before finally being given the news that it was not cancer.

I didn’t tell many people about it and only would have if it was serious.

My dad was starting to lose his cancer battle at that point with treatment being stopped and a good friend was mid-way through her chemo routine for Hodgkin’s lymphoma.

My lump was nothing in comparison to what they were going through.

The good friend I mentioned, went through hell in her chemo treatment and we almost lost her a couple of times.

Every time she was allowed home for a short stay, I was so relieved to see her.

Half way through the year my dad’s health was declining and we lost him at the end of August.

Even though he passed away very quickly and peacefully, it was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life and the grief comes in tidal waves.

Prior to Christmas certain family members caused so much conflict and pain by their rumor spreading, accusations and general spitefulness, that it led to me cutting them from my life forever.

I do not want my children growing up around such hatred and nastiness. Three friends then lost parents within months of each other. Bad news just kept coming and gave me no time to breathe.

Anxiety and depression kicked my backside a lot during the last 12 months, partly due to what was happening and me not having time and energy to work through and process it all.

It felt as if there was no gap between bad news and horrific events that just kept coming and on New Years Eve just gone, I sat alone waiting for the clock to chime and officially say goodbye to that year.

When it did, I cried what felt like a years’ worth of tears, a wave of grief and relief took over and I felt very alone.

So I sat and thought about the brand new 12 months facing me and decided these would help me through this year:

Be kind to myself. Allow myself to make mistakes and move forward remembering I am human and I need time to heal and grieve.

Give myself permission to remove toxic people from my life and not feel guilty about doing so. They cause too much damage. Family or not, if they are damaging your mental health then get rid of them.

Keep dreams, hopes and expectations low. This may sound harsh but right now, it’s what I need. Self-preservation and healing is what I need right now and this is my way of doing it. It’s the little control I have and need to start this year.

It’s great to make resolutions at New Year and I have lots of friends that do, but it’s also a perfect time to reflect, make choices and decisions and take a little time to think of what you really need to happen, what you need to change and I hope you do so guilt free.

Firefly Blog

Real life stories, issues and experiences of day to day life by special needs parents and
healthcare professionals.

Julie Clarke

Meet Our Blogger

I live in the East Midlands, UK and I'm mum to Eliza, 9 (Autism & Anxiety) and Noah, 4 (NT). Running a blog and Facebook page has helped me create an amazing support network as well as raising autism awareness and acceptance and we've made some great friends too.

View Julie’s Profile

Become a Firefly Blogger

Would you like to write for Firefly? Join our blogger network of parents, therapists and professionals.

Get In Touch

Become a subscriber today

Join over 40,000 subscribers to our weekly newsletter with insightful articles just when you need them.

Join Mailing List

By using our site you agree to our use of cookies. Click here for more info.

Accept & Close

No Interest if paid in full in 4 months on

Purchases on £99+

UK Customers only. Subject to credit approval. See terms below

Paypal Credit

Pay now or pay over time with PayPal Credit. Just use PayPal Credit in PayPal checkout.

Subject to credit approval.

Purchases of £99+:

No Interest if paid in full in 4 months on purchases of £99 or more.

  • A minimum monthly payment is required and may or may not pay off the promotional purchase by the end of the 4-month period.
  • No interest will be charged on the purchase if you pay it off in full within 4 months. If you do not, interest will be charged on the purchase from the purchase date at the Purchase APR applicable to your account.
  • Any remaining balance due after the 4-month promotional period or any transactions under £99 will be charged interest at 19.9% p.a. (variable).

Purchases of £98.99 or less:

Buy now and pay over time with PayPal Credit when you spend £98.99 or less.

  • If you pay your balance in full each month by the payment due date that is on your statement, you can avoid paying interest.
  • Or, make minimum monthly payments, or any additional amount of your choosing, until you've paid off your balance according to your standard account terms. Please note, interest charges may apply.
  • We'll send you email reminders when your payments are due. You can also keep track of your account and view your statements online at any time.

About PayPal Credit

  • PayPal Credit is a reusable credit line available on purchases at thousands of stores that accept PayPal. It's also available for purchases on eBay and exclusively at thousands of other online stores. Plus, it comes with the same security and flexibility you trust from PayPal.
  • In order to maintain the 0% offer, you need to keep up monthly repayments and stay within your credit limit. Credit subject to status. Terms and conditions apply. UK residents only.

Please wait...