“We need to spend more time together as a couple”
How many times have you said that to your husband, wife, fiancé, partner?
It’s strange because SO many people believe that children bring you closer as a couple, and yes, there is of course that unmistakable bond that you both have a child together but the amount of strain that it actually puts on a relationship is something that you’ll only know when you have children.
Then you have a child with additional needs.
Scarily around 50% of all marriages end in divorce now but what’s even scarier is that it increases dramatically to around 80-90% of those who have children with special needs.
Children with additional needs, no matter what the diagnosis, take up a HUGE amount of your time.
It may be that you need to do physiotherapy, medications, help with feeding, speech, helping with your child’s daily break downs, they may have anxiety.
They may not be able to do anything without you there, they could have physical, mental, emotional needs...
You may be up ALL NIGHT with them.
So where does your partner fit in? How can you possibly have time for someone else?
It’s hard, very hard and it really does make you question your relationship, because a relationship shouldn’t be hard, you shouldn’t have to make an effort, it should just come easy because you love each other!
That’s the thing, the love is still there but you often feel like the relationship is not. You can’t go on date nights like you used to and let’s face it you’re too worn out to really make an effort anymore.
However, relationships can still work!
You will have to make more of an effort but it’s so worth it! Think back to how you both felt when you met each other and you might have to dig deep but try and remember those butterflies you once got!
You know what, even if you have to set an alarm on your phone every day to remind you to send an “I love you” text to your partner then do it!
Love is so important and not just between you and your child but also between you and the person you fell in love with. It’s so easy to forget about each other but don’t forget to make time to be in love.