Fast forwarding past the wedding we decided to try for a baby, here is where our personalities really started to show, I was very quick to start stressing over another month passing but still not pregnant and Tim kept reassuring me that I needed to pretend we weren’t trying and just enjoy life.
It worked! We were having a baby boy!
It was at 28 weeks that things started to get rocky and we found out that Zachariah’s brain wasn't developing the way it should be.
This was an absolute scare to us both.
I barely remember being in the meeting where we were told it was just so surreal!
I froze. I wept. I didn't understand!
On the other hand Tim stepped up and asked questions, he cuddled me and told me that nothing the doctors had said would affect his love for our little boy, whether we had one day with him or many more it didn't change the fact that Zachariah was our amazing little boy.
He was so calm and so strong. He held us all together.
Following this came a lot more meetings, scans and even an MRI, and throughout them all Tim would hold me and comfort me until our son was born 3 weeks early in 2014.
Now Zachariah has been in our lives for two years, and how amazing this time has been!
He’s such an incredible little boy full of love and giggles.
Tim is his best friend, they have a connection so strong that even I (who he spends most of his time with) can’t compete with.
This bond is so special.
Tim takes advantage of every minute he spends with Zachariah, he is enthusiastic, he's fun, he's positive.
Whenever I begin to question things, doubt myself as a Mother or worry about the future, Tim is there to lift my spirits and find the good in the situation.
Nothing seems too big or scary for Tim, he just embraces what we have and loves his son unconditionally.
We’ve recently found out that Zachariah’s condition is life shortening due to the way his brain has developed. Where we have a bumpy cauliflower-like brain, Zachariah has a smooth brain.
This has led to Zachariah having epilepsy, difficulties feeding and possible respiratory issues.
This information absolutely broke me!
I started to grieve that my little boy may not reach high school or become a teenager.
My eyes were red raw from the constant crying, the thoughts that went through my mind were shocking.
I started to lose enthusiasm to do his therapy and just wrap him in bubble wrap!
My husband on the other hand reminded me that Zachariah is still very much here in the present and that is what we should be focusing on.
We should cherish every moment and enjoy him! He said, and I quote ‘He is my son, and I love him, this doesn’t change that’.
No crying, No self pity, No grieving. Just pure and unconditional love for his Boy!
I'm not saying that I'm not going to shed another tear over my son, I most likely will, but I have made the decision to be more like my husband and try to enjoy every single moment we have with Zachariah, and not miss precious moments in grief or wondering what the future holds.
I love my Husband and everything he teaches me.
Mummy to Zachariah.xx