Additional Needs

I Don’t Know How You Do It... 

Posted by Amy Sweeney on 6th September 2018 Additional Needs, Advice & Support, Disabilities

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Something many parents of special needs children hear from friends and family is, “I couldn’t do what you’re doing,” or, “I don’t know how you do it!”

You probably just smile and awkwardly say something like, “I wouldn’t change it for the world!”

The thing is, I know that’s a lie.

I know you would but you rarely openly admit it because doesn’t that make you a bad person, for wishing your child was different?

NO!

Some days are good and some days are bad.

Sometimes you feel like a superhero because everyone is happy AND you have done the housework, or you have gone to work and still managed to make a home cooked meal for everyone.

But some days you can’t seem to get anything done, everyone is crying (including yourself!) and you don’t know where you went wrong, you receive a phone call because you missed an appointment and you don’t know how things will ever get better.

When you first become pregnant you never, ever expect for your child to have a disability, no one ever does and it’s very rare that you are prepared for that to happen!

So, wishing that your child was different is totally normal and it’s not a bad thing, your child having a disability is never what you expect and as a mother or father, you just want the best for your child!

When someone tells me that they could never do what I do I honestly never know how to reply because every time I think, "Yes, you could!"

Because you would have to!

You learn.

When you have a child with disabilities you learn to be the voice of that child, you learn how to organise and plan because you have to with all the appointments and medications you need to remember but most importantly you learn patience.

Patience is key and when you’re having a day that your patience is running low that’s when things seem to go wrong.

But that’s OK, no one is perfect.

Next time someone tells you that they couldn’t do what you’re doing, just know that they are just trying to say the right thing, but just be honest, tell them you cope because you have to!

And having a child with disabilities isn’t all bad, like I said above, it teaches you to be a better you.

It can also bring you so much joy.

When my son smiles at me I feel like all my problems just melt away, when he achieves something new, no matter how small then I feel like we are on top of the world!

If no one has told you already today, then you are doing a great job.

I COULD do what you’re doing, because I do and we don’t have a choice.

It’s not always easy and we all know that but it’s also not always hard either, you got this!!