• English
  • French
  • German
  • Italian
  • Portuguese
  • Spanish
  • Swedish
Back to Firefly Blog

Getting in the ‘DLA Mood’: The Importance of Looking After Yourself

Getting in the ‘DLA Mood’: The Importance of Looking After Yourself

There is a particularly dark place you have to go to as a parent when you fill in the Disability Living Allowance form on behalf of your child.

While completing it recently I reflected on how unusual it was to focus purely on the negatives about what my son cannot do as normally, both at his special school and inclusive leisure activities, we celebrate all the things he can do, or at least the skills he is starting to develop.

The idea of not only concentrating on the negatives but trying to quantify them – just exactly how many times do I remind him to do things in a day? – feels unnatural, intrusive and potentially upsetting.

If I let it.

And I guess that’s what I started to think…do I let this spoil my day, or do I see it for what it is.

Jumping through the hoops so that we can have some extra resources to do the things we enjoy together as a family.

If it’s easier to get a taxi back from a fun, but very tiring day, and avoid a potential meltdown-inducing journey home, then thank you DLA.

If I see that yet again his shoes have worn down way more on the left side than right because of his asymmetrical gait then I will get the extra pair of shoes even though his feet haven’t grown.

Thank you DLA.

Helping towards our electricity and gas bills because of the extra washing and heating.

Thank you DLA.

If I have to pay extra to top up the Short Breaks activities he really enjoys then I will.

Thank you DLA.

The little things that make life a little more bearable, a little less stressful.

This is what DLA is for.

So leap over the hurdles, go to the dark place while filling out the form. But take it in short bursts, acknowledge that it can be painful but come out the other side and make sure you do something nurturing for yourself and positive with your child.

And if you get your DLA payments, enjoy them and use them, without guilt, to make life a little easier.

You both deserve it.

Firefly Blog

Real life stories, issues and experiences of day to day life by special needs parents and
healthcare professionals.

Jo Griffin

Meet Our Blogger

Joanna Griffin is mum to three boys including her eldest who has special needs. She is also a Chartered Counselling Psychologist and Founder of a website that signposts to practitioners and organisations who provide emotional support to parents of disabled children.

View Jo’s Profile

Become a Firefly Blogger

Would you like to write for Firefly? Join our blogger network of parents, therapists and professionals.

Get In Touch

Become a subscriber today

Join over 40,000 subscribers to our weekly newsletter with insightful articles just when you need them.

Join Mailing List

By using our site you agree to our use of cookies. Click here for more info.

Accept & Close

No Interest if paid in full in 4 months on

Purchases on £99+

UK Customers only. Subject to credit approval. See terms below

Paypal Credit

Pay now or pay over time with PayPal Credit. Just use PayPal Credit in PayPal checkout.

Subject to credit approval.

Purchases of £99+:

No Interest if paid in full in 4 months on purchases of £99 or more.

  • A minimum monthly payment is required and may or may not pay off the promotional purchase by the end of the 4-month period.
  • No interest will be charged on the purchase if you pay it off in full within 4 months. If you do not, interest will be charged on the purchase from the purchase date at the Purchase APR applicable to your account.
  • Any remaining balance due after the 4-month promotional period or any transactions under £99 will be charged interest at 19.9% p.a. (variable).

Purchases of £98.99 or less:

Buy now and pay over time with PayPal Credit when you spend £98.99 or less.

  • If you pay your balance in full each month by the payment due date that is on your statement, you can avoid paying interest.
  • Or, make minimum monthly payments, or any additional amount of your choosing, until you've paid off your balance according to your standard account terms. Please note, interest charges may apply.
  • We'll send you email reminders when your payments are due. You can also keep track of your account and view your statements online at any time.

About PayPal Credit

  • PayPal Credit is a reusable credit line available on purchases at thousands of stores that accept PayPal. It's also available for purchases on eBay and exclusively at thousands of other online stores. Plus, it comes with the same security and flexibility you trust from PayPal.
  • In order to maintain the 0% offer, you need to keep up monthly repayments and stay within your credit limit. Credit subject to status. Terms and conditions apply. UK residents only.

Please wait...