Our lives are like a beautiful storm.
It causes destruction, has very scary moments and often times we are out of control. However, it is beautiful because we can see so many beautiful moments within the storm. Sawyer’s laugh can light up the room and his perfectly timed pranks on us. When Quinn makes him belly laugh or pushes him in his wheelchair around the room.
There are so many special needs parents out there and each of our days look different but are equally difficult. I know that many people reading this blog are closely tied to someone who may have some sort of special needs. It can be challenging as a parent and caregiver.
There are days that are exhausting and stressful.
So many days we find ourselves scratching our heads trying to diagnose what may be going on with Sawyer. Is it his shunt, is it his GI system acting up? Some days we have been up most of the night and are just barely surviving.
On the other hand the days that we are well rested and we watch Sawyer laugh and giggle with his sister is beautiful. It makes those tough days feel so much sweeter. When he reaches milestones, we weren’t sure he would it makes the long days all feel worth it.
We have a big “elective” surgery coming up that has me stressed and anxious. My mind keeps circling the drain of the what ifs and the fear of the unknown. I can’t read my gut because there are so many emotions involved. This year and the pandemic has not helped my anxiety at all.
Logically the surgery makes sense and we have not seen a doctor yet that has said we shouldn’t do it. They all agree that we should do it and it’s worth a shot for the first time. That makes the decision a little easier but no less scary. All that I can hope is by the end of the recovery we can see the beauty in the storm. We will be able to see a better and improved quality of life.