• English
  • French
  • German
  • Italian
  • Portuguese
  • Spanish
  • Swedish
Back to Firefly Blog

Find your Light

Find your Light

I’m sure it’ll not come as a surprise to anyone reading that parenting (and even more so when there is a child with additional needs) can be incredibly hard.

There are challenges to face that nobody could see coming, along with pain that goes so deep you can physically feel it. You’ll have moments where you’ll think “I can’t do this, I’m not strong enough” and want to run away.

What would I say to those people? Find your light.

There is such amazing beauty in bringing life into the world. It’s an honour and a privilege that you should most definitely embrace as fully as you can. Our triplets were conceived on round three of ICSI and were desperately loved before they were even in my tummy!

I fell in love with the idea of motherhood, and the desire to have a child was so ingrained within me that I was able to withstand the trauma (and to me, it was traumatic) of struggling to conceive. The light at the end of the tunnel was three gorgeous babies!

One of our two boys has spina bifida, hydrocephalus and epilepsy. Those conditions cause so much emotional pain for our family that we have been through some incredibly dark times.

Very recently we have had the absolute worst time of our lives, although this is too raw to talk about in any detail. I really want to say to anyone struggling, find the light.

We were encircled by family and friends who poured out their love and support. I even spoke to “estranged” friends as well as people we have known for a relatively short time who all showed such kindness. Their gentleness and willingness to let me just talk was incredibly important.

Ben and Chloe coped so very well despite their young age and own anxieties about their brother’s health crisis. My mum took them every day and made life as normal as possible so that they could be distracted from the harsh reality we were facing. These things were all our sources of light!

My husband is quite genuinely the best man I have ever known. He is the only person who can make me laugh during the hard times with a well placed (often inappropriate) joke to cut the tension. He knows when I need his strength and when I need him to take more of a backseat. He’d defend me to the end, even if I am wrong, which does happen a lot (you’ve this in writing now Ryan!).

He understands that I am a chronic overthinker and need to talk things out, usually to the point of driving him a little bit bonkers. But he lets me do this because he loves me and knows it’s a coping mechanism. He is my best friend and my guiding light when everything else has gone dark.

So, during the hard times...please hold on.

Find your tribe and love them hard, because it really does take a village! During the darkest of times, trust that your people will find you and help you through, even when you can’t see the way.

Firefly Blog

Real life stories, issues and experiences of day to day life by special needs parents and
healthcare professionals.

Katrina Dorrian

Meet Our Blogger

Hi! I'm Katrina, I have 8yr old triplets; one who has spina bifida, hydrocephalus and epilepsy. I also have MS, so we've a busy (but happy) house!

View Katrina’s Profile

Become a Firefly Blogger

Would you like to write for Firefly? Join our blogger network of parents, therapists and professionals.

Get In Touch

Become a subscriber today

Join over 40,000 subscribers to our weekly newsletter with insightful articles just when you need them.

Join Mailing List

By using our site you agree to our use of cookies. Click here for more info.

Accept & Close

No Interest if paid in full in 4 months on

Purchases on £99+

UK Customers only. Subject to credit approval. See terms below

Paypal Credit

Pay now or pay over time with PayPal Credit. Just use PayPal Credit in PayPal checkout.

Subject to credit approval.

Purchases of £99+:

No Interest if paid in full in 4 months on purchases of £99 or more.

  • A minimum monthly payment is required and may or may not pay off the promotional purchase by the end of the 4-month period.
  • No interest will be charged on the purchase if you pay it off in full within 4 months. If you do not, interest will be charged on the purchase from the purchase date at the Purchase APR applicable to your account.
  • Any remaining balance due after the 4-month promotional period or any transactions under £99 will be charged interest at 19.9% p.a. (variable).

Purchases of £98.99 or less:

Buy now and pay over time with PayPal Credit when you spend £98.99 or less.

  • If you pay your balance in full each month by the payment due date that is on your statement, you can avoid paying interest.
  • Or, make minimum monthly payments, or any additional amount of your choosing, until you've paid off your balance according to your standard account terms. Please note, interest charges may apply.
  • We'll send you email reminders when your payments are due. You can also keep track of your account and view your statements online at any time.

About PayPal Credit

  • PayPal Credit is a reusable credit line available on purchases at thousands of stores that accept PayPal. It's also available for purchases on eBay and exclusively at thousands of other online stores. Plus, it comes with the same security and flexibility you trust from PayPal.
  • In order to maintain the 0% offer, you need to keep up monthly repayments and stay within your credit limit. Credit subject to status. Terms and conditions apply. UK residents only.

Please wait...