We can apply this to pretty much every bad situation.
You lose your wealth &ndasndash; you soon find out who your friends are, you lose your fame you soon find out who your friends are, you’re diagnosed with a horrible disease, you soon find out who your friends are!
Well I had a disabled child and I soon found out who my friends were. I started my pregnancy with two close friends who were also pregnant each with their second child.
They were my go-to girls, one I’d went to university with, the other was the my closest friend at work and although they didn’t actually know each other I spent most of my time with one or the other.
They guided me through pregnancy with gentle encouragement and reassurance!
Finding out I had a disabled child was a bit of a slow burner, everything appeared quite ‘normal’ until she started missing those dreaded milestones and so began our rollercoaster of a ride into the world of disability and special needs.
About 6 months along that new frightening path I began to notice that one of my friends was starting to be a bit distant with me, our weekly get togethers were being cancelled or being rearranged in busy, loud places that my then one year old non sitter, non crawler couldn’t cope with.
There were a few comments that made me stop and think ‘You’re lucky she can’t climb out of her cot’ and similar 5 years on and I no longer see this friend at all – it makes me sad, I’m not sure why she cut us out – was it all just too hard, too much work, too many tears…
But boy did my other friend step up to the mark, the day after our very first Paediatrician’s appointment, over 5 years ago now she said to me ‘It could’ve so easily been my daughter, my family and everyday I’ll ask myself what would I want you do if it was the other way round’.
What this means is she doesn’t just offer help she goes ahead and does it – casseroles appear ready to be heated, she comes to visit and shoos me upstairs for an hours sleep, she fundraisers endlessly to help us buy expensive equipment.
She is quite simply amazing.
If you are reading this as friend of someone with a disabled child – remind yourself it could’ve been you and ask yourself what would you want your friends to do to help you?
Everyday, I thank my lucky stars that I found out who my friend was.