The fear of the unknown

Posted by Sarah Paull on 15th December 2020 Additional Needs, Advice & Support, Disabilities

Why do we fear the unknown?

The wait and see period of a diagnosis is the most unbelievably heart wrenching part, the unknown of what is to come?

How bumpy the road ahead is? Will my child walk, talk, eat, go to university or drive a car?

I am ashamed to admit how many times I thought someone might know these answers at such a young and tender age, equally so when professionals say “we don’t think they will do xyz” I remind myself they don’t honestly know at 1 years old.

The textbook says this, but every now and then there is the kid that beats the textbook, everyone naively thinking my child will break the mould!

This year we have come to accept living with the unknown, it is a little bit clearer, still hazy in places of what the future holds but no were near as scary.

I can now live with the unknown demon in the back occasionally rearing his big ugly head but all the big fat accomplishments and unconditional love take up all the room on the stage right now.

Really though, why do we as humans fear the unknown when it comes to health and medical diagnosis?

We wouldn’t pick up a family dog and ask will it be a crufts winner? Or will it win the village show? When will it learn to sit? Will it be good at riding in the car? How will it be around other dogs?

That would be absurd to discuss all this or thinking round and round in our heads, but we do ask a professional like they are able to tell us about our child’s future.

Milestones are not a marker for success.

Society might place great weight behind them, but the sheer beauty of a smile, a giggle, a decent eye gaze to communicate is an amazing success.

I have got better at fending off well-meaning questions “are they walking yet?” “I bet they are crawling everywhere?” with an excited reply “yeah they are doing great, they like watching Bing and love Peppa, still not keen on pigeons but we can avoid them accept at the duck pond” and 9 times out of 10 the conversation changes, to our next adventure when covid19 clears off…. Visiting Peppa pig world!