With all of the ups and downs of my daughter’s health, I have found myself having extreme separation anxiety.
There has never been a time when her father or I have not been with her for more than a few hours.
There are a couple of immediate family members that know how to care for our daughter’s needs, but it took me a long time to even feel comfortable being away from her in the care of those closest to us.
In my heart I always knew they were fully capable.
My mother is a nurse. She even had previous experience handling feeding tubes and people with disabilities.
My mother in law is highly attentive and is naturally an amazing caretaker.
Even with all of the reassurance in the world, I felt incredibly anxious being away for any extended period of time.
Stella will be starting preschool in the near future, so I’m trying to come to terms with the idea of her being under the care of others.
I have recently been given somewhat of a practice run with therapy.
Due to the pandemic, parents are not allowed to attend therapy sessions at our local clinic so we have become accustomed to waiting in the parking lot.
Even though it is just a short period of time it still feels strange.
The irony of it all is that my daughter is rather independent.
She has never been a particularly clingy child.
If she could speak she would probably say “how about a little space ma”.
It probably does not help that she is an only child.
It is really easy to get hyper focused on her when there is not much distraction.
I feel like a lot of it stems from the PTSD from coming so close to losing her.
She also was diagnosed with epilepsy a little after she turned two, so any amount of stability I felt with her health went out the window.
Her seizures are not frequent, but when they happen it is always completely out of nowhere.
It keeps you constantly on guard.
It is just hard to expect anyone to be as prepared. At least In my own mind.
Soon it will be a sink or swim situation.
We are postponing attending school for a few months with the threat of the pandemic, but the time will soon come.
Like all things that come our way I know we will adapt.