Additional Needs

Mother’s Day (UK)

Posted by Zowie Kaye on 8th March 2018 Additional Needs, Disabilities

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Who nurture, protect, cherish, pamper and spoil them.

Who have a full bedtime timely routine of, "storytime", and a no snacks in the evening policy.

This was the type of mother I planned to be during my pregnancy.

Now the “nurture, protect, cherish, pamper and spoil them” is a given and kudos to me, I think I manage this exceptionally well.

BUT I’m a mother who is not perfect.

I am a special needs parent, I wouldn’t say my job is harder that anyone else’s; it’s just different.

I use chocolate and fizzy drinks as a bribery tool to get homework completed.

I use the iPad not only on meals out to keep my son calm and in an environment comfortable to him, but at home so I can have a lie in after a full week’s work.

I don’t do nightly bedtime reading as he very clearly is just not interested.

I do push good manners and discipline well.

I take him to museums, teach him to be diverse and culturally aware and, literally every day, I aim to teach him one new thing.

We say “I love you” at least 10 times a day –

I think love is the most powerful emotion to bestow on your child.

I see the world wide web put mothers down daily; people casting their opinions on how a “mothers” role should be carried out, how their way is the correct way.

You see articles like “50 easy ways to be a fantastic parent” or “four parenting styles for raising children”

These make me so angry, there isn’t a manual on this, there isn’t a guide that fits in with every family and these articles are damning and make an already difficult job seem destined to fail.

In our household, it isn’t all chocolates and roses on Mothers Day.

We have a son who, when he was younger, was not able to go to restaurants or day trips to busy places as these caused sensory issues and ended in a breakdown and tears from a fraught mum.

How is that a happy Mother’s Day for any of us?

Our Mother’s days now are a much more intimate affair, usually indoors where my son can relax and do his own thing

This, in turn, means that I can have a nice, relaxing day.

We exchange gifts with all the important women in our lives such as nana, gran, aunties but we do it all at our children’s pace.

After all, it is because of THEM that we are mothers in the first place.

I don’t need one day to feel the love from my child or appreciation for what I do - he is the greatest gift of all:

“You are the best mum in the world that I have ever had” – Cameron aged 9.