Additional Needs

Finding yourself again

Posted by Marissa Sweat Evans on 19th January 2021 Additional Needs, Advice & Support, Disabilities

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The hardest thing about being a caregiver is you can lose yourself while trying to be what you need to be for your child.

I am often told how strong I am by many people.

Because from the outside looking in it does seem that way.

But those close to me know that I often struggle.

Caring for my son is not always easy.

There are days I honestly do not know if I am going or coming.  

I find myself trying to find time and a quiet place where I can regroup for a few minutes just to be able to continue my day.

I try not to show me at my weakest because I never want people to feel like I am not capable of caring for my son.

Caring for him is what keeps me going.

Which is the very reason why I have lost myself because ever since he came into this world my life has been dedicated to him and his sisters.

I do not know how to not be a Mom because it is all I have been for the past fourteen years.

Even when I do get time to myself to do things for myself or with my husband, I am always worried about what is going on at home.

Because in my mind I am the only person that knows exactly how to care for my son.

Even though I know that my sister loves him as if he were her son and care for him the way that I do.

Its just that ever since he came into this world, I have been attached to him and its hard to leave him in the hands of others.

Although I know its good to take time to myself the truth is, I do not know how to do it without feeling guilty about doing it.

How do you make time outside of being a Mom after becoming one?

How can you find your identity again?