The hardest thing about being a caregiver is you can lose yourself while trying to be what you need to be for your child.
I am often told how strong I am by many people.
Because from the outside looking in it does seem that way.
But those close to me know that I often struggle.
Caring for my son is not always easy.
There are days I honestly do not know if I am going or coming.
I find myself trying to find time and a quiet place where I can regroup for a few minutes just to be able to continue my day.
I try not to show me at my weakest because I never want people to feel like I am not capable of caring for my son.
Caring for him is what keeps me going.
Which is the very reason why I have lost myself because ever since he came into this world my life has been dedicated to him and his sisters.
I do not know how to not be a Mom because it is all I have been for the past fourteen years.
Even when I do get time to myself to do things for myself or with my husband, I am always worried about what is going on at home.
Because in my mind I am the only person that knows exactly how to care for my son.
Even though I know that my sister loves him as if he were her son and care for him the way that I do.
Its just that ever since he came into this world, I have been attached to him and its hard to leave him in the hands of others.
Although I know its good to take time to myself the truth is, I do not know how to do it without feeling guilty about doing it.
How do you make time outside of being a Mom after becoming one?
How can you find your identity again?