Additional Needs

Blessings Hidden Within the Unseen

Posted by Micah Pederson on 12th November 2018 Additional Needs, Advice & Support, Disabilities

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Being a parent of children with special needs is without a doubt one of the most wonderful, most beautiful callings I have ever lived out.

It is also the hardest.

At the end of a particularly trying day recently, my husband had arrived home from work and asked how my day with the kids had gone. I struggled to put the immense heaviness in my heart into comprehensible words.

Finally, in a gush of hot tears, I blurted out, “Sometimes, I just want to be seen! No one has any idea what my days are like. No one knows how much I do in a day or how much I pour myself out for these kids. Does anyone really see me anymore?”

On that day when I told my husband I just wanted to be seen, I was talking about the hard parts.

My heart was in a selfish, weary place and I wanted the accolades. I wanted someone to say, “Hey, I saw how you got up early and haven’t stopped going since. I saw you push through your own exhaustion and sickness. I saw how many times that feeding pump clogged and you had to fix it once again."

"I saw every medicine you gave, every meltdown you turned right-side up, every seizure that broke your heart, every pool of bodily fluids you cleaned up with a baby strapped to your back and toddlers being overly helpful. I saw every diaper changed and every behavior you guided."

"I saw every phone call with doctors and social workers and pharmacies and home medical suppliers. I saw every therapy session you did, every game you played and snuggle you gave. I saw how much you gave of yourself today and every day. I saw you.”

I am human. There are days when exhaustion and self-centeredness take over.

Life went on after that hard day, and when the morning after came, I awoke filled with joy and once again felt the grace and strength God gives me each day. I was reminded how much it is not about me—how much I don’t want it to be about me.

Since then, I have dwelled a lot on how unseen we can be as parents/caregivers of children with special needs. I honestly believe until a person has lived this role, he or she cannot fully understand.

Even after working with children with special needs for years, my perspective and experiences changed entirely as a parent.

There is nothing we can do that will cause people to understand this dynamic experience.

What I have begun to treasure so dearly in my heart is the knowledge that for every challenging aspect I have to keep to myself, there are one hundred beautiful ones.

Among the unseen hard work I do every day, there are a thousand unseen hugs and kisses, silly songs, happy tears, victories big and small, laughing fits, dance parties, and the mightiest, most extravagant waves of grace I have ever known that can only be found crashing into the places where refining fires rage and sanctifying storms swell.

Friend, I know there are so many days that are hard—unbelievably hard. But I hope you also find great peace in the knowledge that this journey you are on is not in vain, but laced in beauty reserved just for you and yours.

Remember that there is mightiness in the mundane as the smallest acts add up to be the greatest.

Remember the precious eyes that do see you—your children see you. You see you. God sees you.

If you remember nothing else from this day, remember this: Keep going. You are enough. You are seen.